MoKky^ Moving On ~!

2010-07-30T09:24:00.002+08:00

INSIDE OUT

When I was young and free and my imaginations had no limts, I dreamed of changing the world.

As I grew older and wiser I realised the world would not change. And I decided to shorten my sights somewhat and change only my country. But it too seemed immovable.

As I entered my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I sought to change only my famiy, those closest to me, but alas they would have none of it.

And now here I lie on my death bed and realise (perhaps for the first time) that if only I'd changed mysef first, then by example I may have influenced my family and with their encouragement and support I may have bettered my country, and who knows I may have changed the world.

2008-01-04T02:40:00.000+08:00

The Covenant of Availability.

Everything I have – time, talents and treasures are at your disposal if you have a need. As part of this availability, I pledge to meet with you in this group on a regular basis.

The Covenant of Feedback.

I will attempt to mirror back to you what I am hearing you say and what you are feeling. If this means risking pain for either one of us, I will trust our relationship enough to take the risk, realizing it is in: “speaking the truth in love that we will grow up in every way into Christ who is the head” (Ephesians 4:15). I will try to express this feedback in a sensitive and biblical manner, in keeping with the circumstances.

The Covenant of Sensitivity.

Even as I desire to be known and be understood by you, I pledge to be sensitive to you and yours needs to the best of my ability. I will try to hear you, see your point of view, understand your feelings, and draw you of possible discouragement or withdrawal.

The Covenant of Affirmation & Acceptance.

I pledge to accept you no matter what you have done, are doing or will do. I may not agree with your every action, but I will attempt to love you as a child of God and do all I can to express God’s affirming love.

The Covenant of Honesty.

I want to become a more open and honest person. I want to share my true opinions, feelings, struggles, joys and hurts. I will trust you with my dreams and problems.

The Covenant of Prayer.

I promise to pray for you regularly. I ask the Holy Spirit to guide me to pray effectively and sensitively.

The Covenant of Confidentiality.

I would keep whatever is shared within the confines of this group. However, I acknowledge that our pastor is the shepherd of the flock and we need to be accountable to him. I will do my best to build trust and loyalty in our relationship.

Anyone who can look me in the eye and say they've observed the caregroup covenants, i salute them. The rest, be ashamed and join me, the imperfect creation.

2007-12-30T06:09:00.000+08:00

The short-lasted school holiday's coming to an end. Sadly, i haven't touched neither homework nor project! Most undesirable way of spending two weeks, i ought to have worked or went on a holiday, rather than letting it go down the drains.

And i hate the company. I can actually get so angry, pissed off, emotional, whatever you'd like to call it, while playing O2jam for an hour. And i actually performed exceptionally well.

WTF is wrong with you people! I couldn't answer that question, no matter how i put myself in your shoes. What you do defies my logic. I thought i could assume that it's there yet... Time and time again, you've wrenched my heart. Is it that hard to find someone i can trust in the church i can share to without holding back anything, is there no-one i can talk freely without second thoughts? It saddens me each time i strike off somebody's name on my virtual "trust-list".

This is such an insult but pardon me. I find the friends of the world, so much more "brotherly", so much more easier to talk to and trust. Irony. You tell me why.

Is the grapevine such a powerful sin-causing tool of satan that none of you can overcome? Can you not live without gosspping, have you nothing better cause your so freaking free? If your gossipping causes you to sin then stop talking. Have none of you all read the numerous emails myself or others have sent about so-called-friends? Read the world news, flip your bible, enlarge your knowledge. Trust is one of the main reasons why miracles and wonders of all sorts happened. David's mighty men trusted one another. Trustworthy came out numerous times. And all that isn't enough, you left me speechless. Continuing on, betrayal of trust is one of the main reasons why so many wars happened, and it also is the channel Jesus used through Judas that eventually brought death to our Saviour Himself.

Each time you break my trust, my respect i have for you built up over the month's gone. I despise you, i look down on you, but i may not show it. Its like painting a huge magnificant glass painting for hours after hours, before shattering it all within a second with your own bare hands. You don't know how much i want to share. I don't have that much of a social need issue, its more of a want. You don't NEED me as friend, and neither do i NEED you. But i want to have you as a friend?

I don't like to give up. Its simply not me. Yet many a times, i felt so much like a fool when i just reprimanded somebody about committment to a local church, about nothing's perfect, about church hopping, about starting from yourself, and the next moment i harbour thoughts about it. The purpose i see, diminishing... thinning.... Or is it just me, but why is it i can't see a purpose in what we all, or i, do? My last resort, my last resort, is what i always say. But apparently, it somehow seems to draw closer each day. God banish that thought... it just won't stop coming back no matter how i try to shake it off..

Stubborn. Yes that's me your talking about, i won't deny. Certain things, once i've made up my mind, nothing's going to change it. Going up and telling the leadership/authoritative hierachy won't really change things, majority of them, i don't give a damn to. They don't really play much of a part in my lives, these things.... more of a figurehead? Generally speaking that is, there are exceptions.

Many a times, late in the night where most of you all are probably sound asleep, i tear and cry out to God, and ask him to take the wheel, to help me lay down my rights, my freewill, and proclaim out loud, "Let His will be done". The same prayer i've said many times over, pouring out my problems. The feeling of helpnessness, desperateness, loneliness, they always come back pestering me when i recede to my abode. That intense burden and compassion i feel for the lost souls, but yet there is nothing within my means i haven't done. Is there a end? i just need a tangible touch, something real to happen that i know its from Him.

Still, still, still, despite all these, I'm glad im able to raise my hands and give thanks and praise the Lord. It's complicated to explain, but i still see joy. It's hard to understand why, but somehow when i see myself, i get what this song means: "With Christ in the vessel i can smile at the storm, smile at the storm, smile at the storm! :)"

This, is the real me, no doubts. You just don't know me well enough. Or rather. You don't know me.Its called ranting, and boy, it sure helps people feel better. Digest it if you bother, i don't expect anything, anyway.

2007-11-30T00:42:00.000+08:00

Oh, and so i haven't blogged for ages... haha.... Man, tuesday makan with walz and stephen was great, at kuishinbo... food was fabulous haah, ate like crazy, laughed alot, nearly want to vomit cause was dam full yet i couldn't stop laughing!

And crap, i've school at 8 tmr, not sure whether to sleep or stay wake. Can't afford to pontang anymore IS else i'll be debarred... Already ponned LOADs of lectures/tutorials past month, sucks to the max... have to kick my habit of procrastinating.. it really kills... each time i wake up after my alarm, my mind says "10 more minute", then it becomes an hour, then i pon school cause no point going anymore :(

Projects doing smoothly BY MYSELF. Been doing loads myself, been thrown to a bimbo group. Basically, bimbo actually means pretty yet stupid for those who use bimbo without knowing its meaning. So, presentation went well, wrote a script for all my team members who don't even know what their reading. Somehow it impressed the teacher cause i answered all the on-the-spot question well, and the team members read the script well enough to convince the teacher "they know their stuff". ANd what crap, i hate it when the supposedly group leader acts idiotic and bosses me around(which i didn't and received ablack face). I marked her a freaking F for her peer apprasial. Probably gunna meet the tutor for a explanation soon but heck, im being truthful, she did NOTHING, though i'd say im showing favouritism to the other... good-natured teammates.

Been fairing well in school SO FAR. I predict tedious mugging within the coming week though, im doing VERY badly at the current rate, alot of things to catch up on. All the test i've aced were POA or BCA, my good topics, just happens that the other 3 modules have no minor tests, so i'll get screwed during commontest unless i do something, which i plan to later in the afternoon. Hopefully. that is.

K actually im just sheer bored. Been alone at home for the past, and anticipated coming week... everybody's not at home and it feels weird not seeing real people. Ah, i don't know how to blog, here's a poem i wrote for my IAC class that scored me an A, that got my tutor to submit to the module leader despite some parts with ridiculous sentence structure/meaning. I don't even know whether some of the words existed, i just scribbled on. Afterall, bear in mind its written within 30 minutes, in a noisy class, under the dead-line pressure. Oh, its about social concerns: disadvantaged women, and it sure IS tough writing as though im a woman. Comments pleeeease? my tagboard's dead

Abused Women

A dark and lonely night I lived
Sad love story from my true love’s kiss
Not long ago have I believed
My beloved husband I really missed

With each night of damnation
I cry, I weep, I couldn’t sleep
Your presence is of suffocation
Our future so truly bleak

Vows we said on our wedding day
Each formed our matrimony
We all agreed; come what may
On this day of holy

Back to reality where we all stand
Abuse, dishonesty and lies to end
I hope our lives we‘ll agree to bend
Trust, faith to comprehend
I hope our lives will soon to mend

Standing in the society

Jobs come and go each passing day
Every morning, I try to be gay
Different standings I try to play
I voiced; but can’t come out to say

Standings in the society I can’t relate
Unfair; prejudice I don’t berate
Women in the society will stand and fight
Hear us roar parry our might

Prostitution

Emotional, physical abused I’ve suffered
Many years the thoughts have lingered
My life so peaceful now being shuffled
Beasts come into my life and mingled

The window I looked out in disarray
Hope diminished; future all recede
My lord of master to obey;
Extinguished; my hope to seed

Little money have I received
I was lied to; tricked to believe
My prayer gone to the devil’s wish
All gone to with just a swish

My years of youth all gone to pain
With troubles I’m certain to await
And if I die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take

2007-10-29T00:40:00.000+08:00

I think this is such an inspiring picture.. in the midst of war, dirty and shagged, carrying their rifles, they gather around in a circle with their bibles to pray.

Last year, this very same day, im pretty sure i was studying with my then-caregroup before and after our 'O' level's paper somewhere. Most likely we did it the day before, and the day after, and many 'days after' we were still at it, sharing in the adrenaline rush after each paper passed, life and ministry seemed so much simplier and joyful then. Thinking back, we studied together, lunched together, sat through the same papers, dined together. Perhaps unknowingly, we spent that period, doing life together. Time flies, and im already into my second semester of poly. And one thing im certain, I still miss that seemingly short span of time where we mugged!

2007-10-14T20:58:00.000+08:00

I always took you as a man of your word, somebody who does what he says. I believed in you as a person of charactor and trust... The times we went through thick and thin together, i already assumed that we both have the same faith, and we both will reach the end of the race victoriously? Saturday service during free worship, it was literally "all the things she(you) said, all the things she(you) said.. running through my head, running through my head".... Where are you doing right now? Where are you right now? The times, months, we spent together studying, having fun joy laughter, wasn't it just the start of something bigger? The covenants we said together, the words of faith spilling out of your mouth. The uncountable prayers you led, the encouragement you gave. The conviction you held when sharing to a non-believer, the joy you felt when somebody converted? Was it all a facade or were they geniune, i hope its the latter... I hope what im seeing is just a dream. Don't you hear the father's cry? He wants you by his side, close to him, his arms are open wide, don't you know? Take a moment away from your busied lifestyles and pause for a moment to think... How i wish everything im seeing and hearing right now is just a bad dream, and i'll wake up from it and everything's back to normal. Won't you pick yourself up, for your own sake? Wake up, for your own sake?

And goodness sake dont shrug your shoulders after reading this post and tell yourself my intended audience isn't you, and just get back to your routined life. If its you im talking to, YOU. Im sure you know whether its you or not... just dont deny yourself. I say this because i care, simple enough reason as that, i care, i care, i care.

2007-10-08T01:11:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i wonder... even though i know the answer... why cant people understand the bliss of simplicity? Why do people SEEM to be growing spiritual but not mentally? Is it that hard to expand your mental capacity? Why do 18 year olds act as though their 12.. Why, why, why cant people stop zooming all the way into their petty issues and look at the bigger picture, cant understand that fussy over trival matters get them nowhere? Is growing hard, that hard compared to growing old? Its not like asking you to gain enlightenment overnight, its a process you ought to have started since day one. To me, it has to start with your mind making a decision, and it continues by choice.

2007-09-17T13:06:00.000+08:00

Came back from idare camp on thursday... and omg the camp rocked~! 4d3n camp at kota tingi rainforest resort~ around 50 ppl from bA came. Dont wanna go too much into details, good experiences are best kept in my memories :)

Easily the best "school" camp i've ever been to, i'll say mainly cause its voluntary and people had to pay $300+ to join the camp so those who went weren't wet-blankets~ 4 pre-glow activities already bonded my team Bingo, we had team Id's, we self-made some bossini tees, bought similar dog tags and columbia bottles~ I was put in charge of doing the team's flag.... Well everybody had something to do cause there's only 10 per team and we had to come up with campfire performance and skit and cheer etc~

Oh and we got our group name Bingo from Mei Ling's DOG. Stuff-toy dog.. It was a long story she shared to us during one of the camp nights... Last time she was a pretty loner kinda girl in secondary school, so she always talk to "bingo" her stuff toy... but then now in poly she became some super high profile girl, she still brings bingo EVERYWHERE she goes(lectures, even camp..) and that's how our team name came about.... =X

First day of camp was already packed to the max, short bus journey around 2 hours straight to camp from school. Then we jumped straight to the activities after our buffet lunch cause there wasn't a need for "ice breaking". We did re-birth, whale watch, abseiling, flying fox, rock climbing and it was all dead cool. Since it was a leadership camp, there was a short debrief after each activity and the trainers shared their personal experiences, alot about team work and group dynamics, very inspirational i'd say. Buffet dinner then i forgot what we did till nightfall, slept at 1...

Woke up at around 6:30 for morning PT, it was actually just playing games(warm up) and a "short" 3km run. Had shiok breakfast(bbq toast bread, bbq wings, deep fried egg, loads of yummy food) before we climb up Mt Panti. 6 hour long up and down hike, i brought home a beautiful memory of the summit's scenery, along with aching shoulders after carrying 10kg of water rations, 4 leechbites(in exchange for my BLOOOD), bruised kness and a tired me. The top of the mountain was dead cool, we had to climb up this natural rock wall before we reach the summit, which was above the rock. We couldn't start our fire at the top due to the wind so we had raw magi mee, thawed sausages, and canned baked beans for lunch.... yucks~! Had steamboat dinner, then we dunno do what till midnight.... I got colgate and some other girl stuff on my eyelids for attempting to sleep ... so we shared stories, see magician tricks(OMG IM STILL BAFFLED BY THIS) play many many game led by roxanne~

Nx morning had PT again, well, more games in other words! Oh and btw... toilet was freaky, its shared.... through my bathe i kept hearing guys and girls scream.... for various reason =X All the lecturer said was, "im sure you all are growns up and will know how to behave decently..." Im so sure that didn't get into the heads of some people. Then it was "water" day. We played indiana jones, was hella funny, two teams had to cross the river, to the other's side... i took the front and everybody followed.... everybody behind kept dropping into the super super muddy water haha... then it reached the point where both me and the other team clash... we two wrestled and we both got into the water... like what the heeeeeeck~!!! Then the game stucked there cause nobody could cross anymore, the bridge was too shaky and nobody dared to clash with the other team again lol.... Then we had rafting, had to cross the lake and back with our own raft... which disintergrated in the middle of the pool leaving my team mates stranded... screwed this up big time cause everybody SOOO helpful, dunno how to tie knots also anyhow try.... end up the knots came loose midway... haha... had fun nevertheless swimming with all the insects and pulling those non-swimmers back to shore. Had BBQ for dinner, rocked man, food rocked~ Then had river cascading... Took buoys to the top of the river and sat on the buoy, flowed to the waterfall then SPLASH~! Haha.. absolute fun. Met one whole lot of army personals there, with their big guns and menacing dogs that kept their eyes on us when we walked past...

Campfire at night, had some uber cool and hilarious performanced by the various groups, SF's and trainers and we revealed the angle/mortal game we were playing, Alicia's my mortal and Monica's my angel... My mortal's dam sweet can~! Haha.. Well the night went on and we continued our endless stories, games, and card trick went on, freaking some people out.... Went on till morning, many many people kanna the same thing i had when i fell asleep the previous night... haha, was dam funny seeing their expressions when they woke up~

morning had PT again, i was super tired... But still, yeah, then indoor games, sharing, prize presentation, sharing, alot of ppl cry cry cry -.-" Yeah, then went jusco for lunch and shopping and home sweet home~! Cabbed back with Sheryl Rong De and Xavier. Definitely the best camp ever, knew alot of friends and alot of "first-time" games! See me going to idare 2008 and 2009 :) hopefully as facilitators!

Say im crazy but after i came back from camp, i delivered donuts to Grace, and returned sleeping bag to Martin, then played pool and ate durian with Walmond untill 1, then returned home at 2 and went online, slept at 4... And take into consideration i only had 7 hours of sleep the past 3 nights, along with numerous activities that wear me out!

Then had NED reunion dinner at my place~! Thankfully Pam woke me up around 2+ so i cleared my messy messy room up and went back to sleep(accidentally!) Then woke up again around 4+ go find Pamela, met her coincidentally along the escalator haha, went shopping for food and James came halfway, then went home to prepare the food. Thx to Pam, she helped alot with the food whilst James wrote card for Alvin haha.... Thanks to all who came and made it possible~! And dont ask me how so many people managed to squeeze into my cosy home! Haha, time to go for concert...

2007-09-09T01:30:00.000+08:00

Ah, havent blogged in ages... been. BUSY. Is still busy! past 2 weeks was studying for exams... going late for EVERY exam, and going off early for half of them, getting a phone call from lecturer asking whether im too stressed up due to exams.. was hilarious... Then holidays started, class chalet was a sure highlight... movies... working part time, sentosa, venture era(mlm company), giving tution, being late for tution, eating durian, playing pool, and playing pool, and playing pool, and playing pool... Ok, i dont want to blog, life's too interesting to be translated into words :) Oh, im going off to camp from 10-13, for whoever still reads my dead blog.....

2007-08-20T07:38:00.000+08:00

What a beautiful morning... I didn't sleep yet.

It was around 5 AM when i decided to go back to my old old old house's market for breakfast and to tapao for my mother. I simply love the man1 jiang1 gui4 there! Grabbed my nautica sweater cause i was lazy to change and my laptop coz i was studying before i left house so i brought to continue studying~

Bought 5 pieces of mun jiang gui i said in hokkien "go eh man jiang gui ge liao" And i ordered tauhuay drink "tauhuay zi pua, leng eh~" haha... The lady there still recognises me after 6 years :) Studied my bstats(ahh how fun -.-") while having breakfast, then brougth home the remainder 2 pieces for my mother!

Around the vicinity... saw many people heading for school... SRJCians... zhonghua... stgabriels(WOO!) chji, montfort, hihs etc~ All sorts of guys and girls, going in all direction, early in the morning, still dreamy and in their dazed state. The usual scenerio of people tuggin their school bag, shirts tucked, white shoes etc... Then i realised... i used to dread going to school... now i miss school... Most importantly, i so miss youth... NED :(

As i left there to head home on bus 72... i was thinking... still thinking about msn conversations i held through the night whilst studying... Then i looked up in the sky and saw something... so beautiful.... its like a white scar in the dark blue skies~ I dont know how to describe it, but its the first time i've seen such a weird sky, those that know me, would know i always look at the sky, especially dawn/dusk, or the moon haha... It was 6+, the entire sky was that usual gloomy bluish, except for that diagonally scar shaped white sky. I stoned on the overhead bridge for like ten minutes?(i didn't bring my watch and handphone out, i realised...two of my essentials) Might be just ten minutes, but its actually very long, for somebody to stop in his track on the way to the bustop, and just stare that the sky holding a bag of man jiang gui and his laptop.

Peace. Calmness. Serenity... What a small portion of the sky brings, a beautiful creation of God~ During that ten minutes all the thinking and studying i had been doing just seemed to faded away. Then i had this beautiful vision in my mind.... How wonderful it'd be to see, or rather, be with the entire NP group, congregate and praise God's name under the morning sky in the open, at 6 sharp, at dawn! Which of you have ever woke up at dawn to spent QT, praise or worship, despite all tiredness?(either havent sleep yet or just woke up). But Jesus got up BEFORE dawn, to pray for our sake. Or do such things only exist during camp morning devotions... Or during last night of camp when people start taking up their guitar, merely to past time?

Oh well, that's my thoughts, a beautiful morning for me to sleep~! YAY

2007-08-19T02:09:00.000+08:00

Physically exhausting can be used to describe the past few days.
Start from Tuesday(wednesday early early morning actually). Slept at 6:30 Am. Woke up at 7:30 am. Went gym at 8:30, ran 2.4, and did a bunch of other excersises. By then was around 11, went home change and left straight away to study at esplanade library till cg. Cg, got wet during WELCOME(welcome indeed)... thanks to jean's marvelous jump into the water, scared teh shit out of me. Next was games, that supposedly peaceful defender role which i wanted to rest, turned out the worst possible role, with like 5-6 people chasing me, barefooted, on rough terrain. With my berms wet, and physically already tired :( Had fun though, caregroup was great! Especially games, and teaching by Nel. Reached home at 12+, slept at 4+.

Hoho, and guess what? despite my 1 hour sleep the previous night and those tiring activities, i woke up at 9 to go swimming at toapayoh with alvin and shaun. Was late so had to cab~ Swam 30 laps, plus did those treadwater, sculling, etc which i had to practise for lifeguards. Tiring? Yeah, went to upper thomson prata... YUM!! :P Went to school, prepared for lifeguard test.. 2nd round of swimming today, lasted 4 hours and ended at 11:30... OMG? Totally drained out, cabbed home from school, and dont ask me why, i foolishly agreed to play "space command" with Youth wam dudes.... it ended at 6. Yeah, close to 4 hours game, ridiculous.... Then came the hibernation... i SLEPT FOR THIRTEEN HOURS>!!! AHH.. SHUANG!

And congratuate me, i past three life guards test in one go :P

2007-08-12T04:34:00.000+08:00

Yet another wild fantasy, or a dream that'll come true? Well, in the future, nothing's impossible! haha, afterall, im going to earn big bucks with a good career and be a blessing in the area of finance to others! I will, because i believe :)

2007-08-12T03:38:00.000+08:00

Haha... been busy the past few days! Birthday on 8/8!! Weeeee~! Thanks for all the wishing and endless sms'es haha... Well, truthfully speaking it was quite disappointing cause those i expected something from didn't happen haha! But HAHA, on the brighter side, those cliques i didn't expect anything, surprised me big time! Omg thanks alot, proved so well that our friendship can withstand time :)

Wednesday was the very first surprise, vince and darren called me around 10 and so so politely asked me to "Get my ass downstairs now!" -.-" haha well i obliged, and omg.... *touched* love language of gifts scored! lol, not like their two rich pampered kids but they willing to splurge on me, plus they travelled to my house like so early in the morning? Wow man... they must either hate sleep or love me =X But however did they know i like Godiva chocs... that's another mystery.

Then was CG, at bukit timah plaza pizza hut.... Man, i travelled there from school to get forfeited by people :( Haha, thanx to zhige chulee and karryn for the chocolates(again =X)!! And i think the pictures drawn by siqin and rachelle was oh so nice.... Talented people man!

Stayed over at Stephen's house, got the belated cake from the previous night cause i ruined their(alvin too) plans, sorry! lol..... Stayed up till 7, then slept to 8:30 then cab to Safra Yishun for Operation Bear~! Details of it in NP unit blog, well i played bowling, built a tent using newspaper, climbed the vertical rock wall, played bowling etc~

Went home, dead tired, slept then at night supper with Cong Alvin and Kok at Jalan Kayu! Prata there rocks, a little bit.

Friday was school, then cabbed to East Coast park chalet with mum. Was, in fact some social function invited by my family financial doctor... her boss was there too and i had a good chat with him cause he's a ex- NP student, from the same course also!! what a coincidence... He give me his word he'll hire me to work in AIA after i graduate! LOL, but insurance agent.... sounds so stress, with all that sales quota stuff :( Slacking is my profession. Well i went cycling cause it was so awkward after talking to the boss, didn't know anybody there and people started streaming in, quite a large clientele i suppose, must have a large social circle to work in such jobs... Fell down while cycling, had my chain came loose once cause of a near-crash.... and a crash due to a BANGALA!! RAH. And i koped one heineken home cause i didn't have enough =X

Saturday morning! My next "morning" surprise other than the one from D. and V., my ex-church cell from LSBC that was supposed to be meeting me at 12 at orchard mrt.... turned up at my doorsteps at 11 -.-" Yeah, i was changed and about to leave house when they came in after i opened the door can! HAHA, was totally not expecting this cause its like 3 days past 8/8... but i got a belated cake.....plus it was totally pwnage, havent meet THE people for like 6 months? Gotta thank Lydia and Sharon for planning this, and again, the travelling? Either love me or hate sleep.... :P

Svc as usual... after service dinner at outside Le~meridian, first time, a good change! And crap, my barnabas wasn't zejun, it was XUE PING!!! ARGH :( I mean, :) haha.... i guessed wrongly! played pool, then went to geylang eat durian and fish soup with wally and stephen, had a nice time talking to them, then cabbed home.

And man, i dont have a single picture everytime people take... i'll try to post pictures when i get them :p

2007-08-08T01:21:00.000+08:00

Life's good, enjoying my holiday! Termed "study break" by my education institute, this period rocks cause it means no school and it means no tutorials and it also means HOLIDAY! As in literal holiday.... Cause past school "holidays" aren't real holidays. They simply mean "cancel-today's-tutorial-and-makeup-on-another-day". Yeah that's how poly is, public holiday means your free on that day, and you make up for lessons missed that day, another day... BOO!

Oh well, friday went for SnW. I finally cleared SnW without failing it, despite my numerous SUPER late attendence, countless "oversleep" .... makeup solved them all. And my coach's Alvin's cool.. probably crashing his lessons next time when i feel like playing tennis and im free on friday! Also had final CATS lesson, was cool, photo taking session and just crapping .... my team rocks, the ability to scam the teacher into giving our team A twice in a row with super last-minute work... Its the small details that makes teh teacher smile and give you full marks yeah? Many people couldn't make it for the FOP on friday night so i didn't go either, was tired cause i didn't sleep on thursday night(else i would have missed my tennis make up =X). Instead went home to take swim attire and went swimming at TPY with Grace!! haha.... I learn a LITTLE of butterfly stroke from her! Now can do one lap le, but at a patheticly slow pace and feeling weird with the body movement.... Oh well, practise more MoKky^ ~ ~ ~

Saturday Sunny came to hougang then we went for service together! haha, havent seen Sunny for ages, didn't change much since i last saw him! Went to Cine where people tried carrying out their role as Barnabas... Then went to PS arcade, played that "scoop sweet and push to hole" thingie, whatever its called.... i failed to get that chocolate after like 6 tries till my tapz card ran dry so i gave up... Sucks! lol, though i did get mushmallow and a sweet to drop... Tauhuay with Sunny Joseph Lin Xueyong and Stephen~ Then went home, xy stayed over~ :( Means i couldn't sleep...

Sunday popped over to bras basah meet Grace at.... her dance lesson, watched for awhile then went national library lvl 7 to watch movie~ The Girl Next Door! haha... 3rd time watching, but 1st time without sound -.-"""" Then went to find Shaun at dhobby, bought 12 donuts, then went FOP! Was great, though tired, no, i mean, exhausted.... Took bus home with Stephen, guess what? wrong direction. Ended up at harbourfront.... Then took the other way, 1hour+ journey in total..... Had a great time catching up with my SB though!

Monday watch movie at home and slack lol... Slept a good portion of the day away, making up for the previous... Die hard 4.0 = Shiok arh!

tuesday went pasir ris book chalet and talked loads with Shawn, somehow talk talk talk untill my church, then talk about the people and anniversary at D'marquee.... I see a glimmer in interest. A glimpse of hope. Went Gelare eat with mum dinner, then shopping for food.... Bought loads of, CHOCOLATE :P

2007-08-03T04:21:00.000+08:00

Great, im hungry now....Oh well... Missed school on tuesday and thursday. Wednesday totally boring, except lifeguards, AGAIN we had training under the rain and played captains ball. Dead tiring. Anybody got FOOD?

Alvin just left :) Dont feel like blogging, im hungry and that's about all. And im hungry

2007-07-31T00:16:00.000+08:00

Today's such a wonderful night... Especially like the sky, the full moon with its cloud, simply so beautiful, wonder who created it!

Friday durian ended up only Grace and Zi Jie came haha.. Oh, somebody else came too, Coco! Haha.... havent seen HER for quite awhile :P I invited like close to 20 people and only 2 came... hundred and one reasons to say your busy, or one reason which is you have different priorities, simple as that.

Haha and, friday night actually wanted to swim with my ex shepherd Alvin but sadly swimming pools close at 10. So night run it was, went to Alvin house, then ran to jalan kayu... Realised i havent been running for ages and i got tired real fast. He said it was close to 3km though. it felt like 30 =X And to add to that, we were like talking all the way, and the feeling was simply, weird. Cause i dont know the route, i dont know how long i've run, i dont know how long more to the end, to me, it was endless running, aimlessly just keep running without view of the end. Ate prata and satay then tabao-ed food for jiancong!

The YS team was there rushing overnight for their IF youth ESS video production... countless nights just for that animation, man... And it looked cool when i stepped in, one room with a mahjong table with 4 laptops opened haha... philothea jiayi steven and puay was there.

Then went home after that, from jalan kayu to hougang..... tired. to. the. max. Slept at 5

Yes and i woke up at 8 on saturday, thankfully.... supposeed to be 6, but time changed. Went for my Idare camp pre-glow. Was fun, at clarke quay, some amazing thing race, mainly to bond the camp members.... And, what a Idare camp, they said there'll be 5 pre-camp meeting/outings, and various training and coaching.... and amazingly small camp population at that, around 70 people in total only... Seems like a really fun time gunna be coming! Hahaha.... Walked till my legs totally suan, then went for service, then after svc celebrated Yi Wei's birthday. Headed home after that, was too tired to move.

Sunday was totally at home, read book and play computer cause my legs were suffering from the previous days aftermath... so being on my bed for close to 24 hours was pretty helpful!

Monday had no school theoritically. Just optional revision lecture from 1-3. which i went at 1:15, which actually ended at 1:30 =X played boards games for liek 2 hours waiting for lifeguards, i was on a winning spreee, won all the games! hahahah... played alot of weird new games.... everobdy got dam high man, practically making a din in the games room.... Lifegaurds was cool, the rain was crazy heavy but we continued with training, the.... "feeling" was shiok, doing our items under heavy rain, horrible vision, quite realistic for a lifeguard actually

2007-07-25T23:36:00.000+08:00

Haha whoever said making a connection between holes in sentosa isn't possible, that the sand will keep collapsing. This one, even I could crawl THROUGH :) Went there on Sunday, mainly to connect my brother and girlfriend to my old church friends, LSBC! :) Was good i guess, had fun. Glad my brother was willing to join us to sentosa, felt w eird asking at first but it turned out well. Visited Darren's father's funeral wake on sat and sunday night also~!

Monday pontanged school, only went for investment talks at 5:30, was interesting, about hedging related funds, and future career prospects in the industry! The speaker got that cool angmoh accents lol... Then went for lifeguards, got 2 newly joined members and poor them. They became "victims" for us throughout haha... practically acting dead half the time! At night ate durians with Chen Xiang Joseph lin and Zi jie! :) Played pool also

Tuesday, din pon school, just late =X Late for presentation rather cause i slept at 4 AM? And that's cause i found out at 1 AM that i had a presentation weighing 30% of the entire module(that's alot... more than one entire commontest) the very next day that required dress attire, and a 5 page ppt slide? RAH.... chionged it overnight, but i didn't do a scrappy job, was.... so-so i guess? Pontanged the 2nd part of school, went to play pool! Haha... then headed home, then out again, and went on this ridiculous bus ride spree cause of Grace -.-" 6 buses in total within 2 hours. Oh, ate durian with her again at searangoon! Played pool with this stranger while waiting and got kicked real bad. win 1 game, lose 3 game. sian to the max! Apparently i already know i made the wrong move by accepting the punch when the bar girl talked to my opponent "you punching with him for what?"(in chinese).... And the table with some of the shop's shareholders were paying extra attention to our game.... I guess that guy's a pro and a regular that people know sia... he wanted race to 7, i mentally said "xiao" and verbally said friend coming, race to 3...
Wednesday pon school AGAIN. Went at 3 for MIEC tutorial and it was totally, hilarious.... we made the teacher so pissed and flustered, half the time she lost her chain of thoughts and couldn't teach well. Why? We spammed her with Harry potter book spoilers and she went so paranoid and walked out of class for liek 10 seconds, and covered her ears like some siao zha bor.... haha.... she was 2/3 at the book and she brought up the topic. We merely continued about the ending of the book which she didn't want to know ;P

Then went for lifeguards at 6, was theory and a little practical... deep sea EAR( expired air resuscitation) and land EAR/CPR(cardio pulmonary resucitation)!!! And goodness... my knees and feets are like blistered after all that kneeling down... Cause my feets are so accustomed to kneeling japanese style that i did it that way throughout the training instead of the normal way? LOL.... Went for CG after that, and i think i know who my barnabas is! :) :) :)

Friday DURIAN! Who's on?! haha ask me

2007-07-21T02:20:00.000+08:00

Haha, the week flew past just like that... Been a pretty tiring and packed week, was SO SO looking forward to friday man... Cause friday means saturday is coming... Yay! :)

Just some updates, i passed the trial lifeguards test and i got approval to join the 1,2,3, lifesavings test! WOO! And also, most of my lectures end this, or next week. After that is no more lecture, but tutorial will continue for a short period, perhaps 3 weeks. Then 2 weeks of study break :) Exams are around the corner! Presentations, projects, all done. All very well done i'd say.... For the most heavily weighted project, CIP PBL, i got voted best presentor of the team, and our team got voted best team by teacher also :P) !! WOO! I was kinda surprised cause my class alot of talkative and outspoken people, but the teacher said i was pretty confident and i know "i know my stuff inside out" haha.... investment summary... no kick *meh*, secondary school do countless times already.

2007-07-16T17:02:00.001+08:00

OMG I LOST MY SONY EAR PIECE............................. :*( Piang, it simply vanished. i thought i lent my friend but he returned me already, not at home, not in bag, not in school, gone! >.< sian sian sian, i liked its superb sound quality and especially its comfort since it was in-ear... cost me 90 bucks man! Sigh... came at a time when im broke and in quite a bunch of debts, sucks, cant get a new one anytime soon.

And hahahaha.... due to the previous post, i got bo-liaoed and checked my tracker, those unique visitors IP address... and matched them to my hamachi(some local area network emulator that allows people to create a virtual online network via IP address) program ip address and apparently it appears that quite a bunch of the guys whom i play warcraft and dota with have been...."faithfully" yet silently viewing my blog! LOL.... Hello to you-who-shall-remain-anonymous! Do tag my cbox someday!

Wow, 3 post in a day.... zzz, im supposed to have quite a bunch of problems on hand.... tata

2007-07-16T16:16:00.000+08:00

TAGGED BY PAMELA YEO -.-" (i cant believe i do such stuff, but i've 2 hours to spend till lifeguards.)

Please read the rules first: Each player of the game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged needs to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you'll need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. I have that....extraordinary tendency to itch for a fight, quite often? Like i suddenly feel like sparring =X So sometimes i'll tend to literally pick a fight. Of course with a valid reason. Like protecting the weak...etc etc etc, anything that puts me in a advantage should somebody of higher authority intervenes...

2. Like many others who get joy from victory over others, pride from winning etc.... im a li'l weird. I dont enjoy winning, in most things i do. Play pool....spar.....bowling....dota.....wc3 ladder... cs... if your that kind of person that i think i'll probably win when i play, its...BOO, sian. Prefer to play with people who i think i will lose to ;) I rather lose but play a tough challenging match, than win. Competitive MoKky^

3. I eat loads and loads of durians, and not fall sick. In fact i was running a cold flu last night, after eatin durian, which is suppose to be "heaty"? I got the opposite... Ridiculous, but it turned out so... That's why i never heed people's advice when they always say, eat so much durian, later heaty fall sick. It doesn't apply to me, and it runs in the genes also!

4. I have an attachment to my pillow and....wallet? Hahahaha, so many times i walk past walletshops.... king coil etc... i always get myself entangled in a dilemma.... the product is so nice, better than my current.... but i just dont wanna change cause im used to it haha...

*cracks brain and think... i think im normal, i cant get any more ideas....

5. Umm..er... lets say unlike other normal guys... i can starve, and would rather starve, than to eat food that i dont like, or is bland? Many occasions i skipped like 2-3 meals, not eat for more than 30 hours etc cause no food really attracted me, or i was too occupied. Im can manage not eating for quite a while, unlike more guys... especially my poker friends. They exclaim like the world is collapsing "*uck! Dam hungry, cannot think!" And then throughout the remaining time they'll just complain and complain and end up asking the maid to go get food, or order delivery...

6. I have a friend like you -.-"

The 6 people to be tagged are: Gary, MoKky, Bin Ren, Me, Myself, and You.

Ok that's stupid, but i seriously have no clue how to name 6 people that reads my blog, i dont think theres 6 even, so if your reading this, your name falls under "you".

2007-07-16T14:16:00.000+08:00

Ai been frequenting Tan Tock Seng Hospital's ICU recently... "Intensive care", isn't an exaggeration... It really, is intensive care...

Oh my clasmate Lester Lam just prayed for me, kinda surprised... Courage i'll call that. He's from FCBC, and there's this..."100k prayer" campaign, so 5000 people, everybody prays for 20 people! Pretty "formal"....after the prayer had to fill in one form, then he pasted a sticker with a barcode label on it with his and his leader names! The thing was he prayed for me during a 5minutes break inbetween lecture. Right in the lecture hall somewhere in the prayer, he prayed for me aloud amidst classmates, and all. Thank God, for his faith and courage ;) Encouraged loads!

And oh... i forgot, i met a bunch of media corp artistes while eating durian with wally last thursday! Jeanette Aw kinda looks like one of my ex-classmates though.. Lol, and then there was this korean lady who bought durian.... Specially ordered durian. Was kinda attracting attention from all the packaging. First, it was removed from its husk... and every individual seed was packed in plastic wrapping. Then placed in an airtight container, they scotch taped it totally on all 6 sides, then attach a huge tea bag on it... Then into a cardboard material wrapping... then another layer of scotch tape. The packing along, took 2 hours. =X That's simply shows the extend of how expensive durians are in korean i guess, so much effort they take to transport durians there!

By the way... 2 of my module's lecture ends this week, and the other 2, next week....woah, so fast, after that's just tutorials and revision for exam already, time flies... really does flies... Amidst all the problem around me, i guess its time i get down to studying! OH yay, i got 80, and 88, for my bstats test 1 and 2 respectively :) :) My overnight mugging paid off i guess... And i've my lifeguards pre-test later on, to determine whether i qualify for the test..... sigh, everything's fine except that egg-beater trekwater... 1 minute hand in air =X .... BOO

2007-07-14T01:11:00.000+08:00

Been a busy week... definitely... God seems to have his way of testing me, so many problem arise, within a day. Wednesday was the day. had FOUR project meetings in a day that required alot of rushing due to deadlines, excluding CCA(oh cca was darn fun... im so enjoying lifeguards), caregroup, and most of all, influx of problems from others.

Had my OB presentation on wednesday on conflict. Went smoothly :) And after that had 4 consecutive project group meetings with different groups to do project... kewl, really taxing...

1) Loaned my friend 800 bucks... and that was from $$ i loaned from others to begin with

2) Spent 2 hours talking to a girl who broke up ... this part sucked, couldn't do anything but listen, so awkward

3) Very close friend of my, father in ICU, doctor said be prepared by sunday.

And a heck load of other problems that came at the wrong time. Perhaps a few more "me"s would help ALOT.

Thursday was basically follow-upping on those problems? And accompanied Vincent Lam to queensway to buy shoe then visit zijie/josephine at her Interdisplinery Studies booth at convention centre. Surprised that vincent actually sms-ed me saying thanks for spending time with him go shopping..... Life's like this, whenever you expect a thanks from somebody, you dont get it... But when you least expect it from somebody of the world, it comes... Perhaps christians are too lucky, and they take for granted so many things that they stopped appreciating them and showing their gratitude. For me, i feel my friends of the world are more likely to become lifelong friends, compared to churchies... though that's sterotyping, theres a bunch of expections :)

Thursday night chionged project overnight, stupid dreamweaver and website stuff, so not familiar with them anymore... they used to be my "friends" haha. Ponned SnW and Cats after that, went to do TTSH ICU.... was darn scary.... So many emo people, so many doctors and nurses(more than visitors and patients in fact)..... so high tech place, all those equipment and stuff... its more than what you see on TV man! Companied darren whole day, played poker and so many other things... tried doing so many things to keep his mind from thinking, but deep inside, i was simply praying a simple prayer. a prayer for a miracle.... Though facts are there, 99% gone is just nicely saying 100%, i refuse to give up though.... rebellious me just wont accept facts untill it really happens... How i'd like to see Jesus take up my challenge and show me through actions, believe in wonders and miracles, not human logic and facts.

After that went to chomp chomp for project, then coffee beans for its internet... haha, i finished one entire sugarcane cup on my own!

Then durian and pool and lan at searangoon with Walmond... Ouch, ONE DURIAN cost us close to 40 bucks.... -.-"" We were pretty shocked cause we were full and just told the person, one will do.... that one, was 3 KG... =X Super big, biggest i've ever eaten in months, years perhaps(thai excluded)

And, i should seriously stop spending, im into alot of debts.... so perhaps those who own me money can pay me back so i can pay back those i owe too!! And tata, gotta wake up in 4 hours time for CIP.... ten tons at toa payoh!

MoKky^ is tired.. dead tired... shoulder still aches from lifeguard training...

2007-07-10T17:02:00.000+08:00

Haha, testing out my scanner....my photos when i was three years old!!! Feast your eyes! Lol =X

2007-07-10T16:24:00.000+08:00

yay, e-learning day :) Ahh.... the comfort of home...!

Sunday was great, went to study with Grace at amk hub for my bstats test which i was TOTALLY CLUELESS about the following day. And i treat her to turkish icecream, hahaha ~~noobie!~~ Saw a bunch of hoppies there... 4 times! 1st met Yi Hui and Zi Wei..... Then i saw Jian Cong Steven and their caregroup mates! Then i saw shopping, or rather she saw me, then i saw a NE sister whom i forgot her name, so paiseh... She said Hi Gary, then i went.... shit, so familiar but...but...but...*waves hand* "hello!"

After studying, went to searangoon Q-bistro play pool with Sarah, a new pool-mate i found recently haha, then tabao durians home... Then on the way home, i went broke. Went shopping and i bought ben and jerrys ice cream, some hair products and many other junk food...plus the pool and durian earlier on, and the printer days ago... I couldn't even draw 20 bucks out from my atm! !! Tian ah.

Monday went great, cause i studied till 3 AM for my bstats test, which i can confidently say i got 90% MINIMUM. :) Ownage! I had some ....enlightment the night before all of a sudden... Which, made up for the 2 lecture and 1 tutorial i pontanged, which taught about the test topics.... Hahahaha, proud of myself!

Lifeguards training, was cool, cause i survived!

2007-07-07T14:00:00.000+08:00

i just woke up ^^

Wednesday was a hella fun!!! I took part in this marketocracy game, and there were 2 pre-game talks which taught us how the stock market operated, and how to play with stocks, investments etc! The first talk taught about the SGX market, and how to do fundamental analaysis on invidiual listed stocks... :) :) :)

Then i went for Lifeguards' land training a little late... Was ridiculously slow in the group...To me, it was aimlessly running around school, climbing up staircases, down staircases, sprinting up slopes, random stops to do push up and sit up and squats and more and more aimless running around school, repeat repeat, repeat for a whole hour -.-" Totally killed me, at the end i was 4th last. Ahead of one huge dude and two girls only..... sigh... I thought i joined lifeguards cause training was slack, or rather water training was slack to me cause i will never get THAT tired as long as im immersed in water!
Then they ended off with having everybody to do 30 pullups, with or without assist... I needed assist on ALL.... ^^

Went for caregroup after that, was super shag, legs wobbly, hands suan to the max! But brain functional, fully functional :) Supposed to go walmond house mahjong overnight with jiancong and lee but... i cancelled it, TOO TIRED!

Thursday had 2 long breaks... chiong project with my project team all the way.. Mans, we accomplished a great deal i'd say! And oh, i have a total of 7 projects on hand.... -.-"""""

Then after all those project stuff, went to media corps headquarters to join a focus group discussion about scape park, youth park, librarys etc... It took 2 hours but i was.... pretty alright, had free pizzahut pizza throughout, so much that there were leftovers after 2 hours with around 8 guys there.... Got a 100 dollar tangs voucher as a token of appreciation :)

And before i forgot... i actually bought a printer on impulse, and its still lying beside the door unopened, up till now! Some brother 3-in-1 printer that fax/scan/prints..... 288 bucks! Haha i told my parents AFTER i bought it, luckily for me nothing happened! =X Dont really know why i bought it, i just thought it might come in useful, and it was rather compact for its functions hahaha

Friday had SnW, was 1 hour late despite a morning call hahaha.... but was great, ran out of rackets so the coach lent me his, his that cost 600, he warned me not to scratch it lol.... Goodness, it was so nice to play with, the "feel"... or perhaps its just a psychological effect that made me perform better cause i was using the coach's racket... And oh because i was using his racket, he asked me to follow him to whatever court he goes to(usually stay in 1 court).... so i ended up mixing around with the girls court, so weird -.-" But tennis was 1 word, fun, fun, fun.

After school played poker at darren's place again.... then went to Walmond house then went to parklane tgt... Ate the at the chicken rice store near tauhuay.... Ate ALOT. 2 person, we downed 6 bowls of rice(3each!), half a chicken, dumpling soup, chicken intestine/liver, vege! That's alot to me... bloated to the max! First time i spent $20+ in a chicken rice store...... Then we played pool for two hours! Won a punch game with strangers, then played lan, then tauhuay and home sweet home :)

2007-07-03T10:02:00.000+08:00

Ah, finally found time to blog during classes~! My past 2 days shall be summarised

1. Sat was NP's first pm
2. Played pool for 2 hrs with Augustine after svc
3. Tauhuay then Augustine scratched his mum's car *ouch*
4. Dia- came my house to use com at night
5. Sun morning went to do coke survey, got 50bucks for that, 200+survey questions, sample different cokes, choose packaging etc
6. CTR, find it a big joke about certain things after what Ps Ben preached.
7. Went amk hub shopping, crap, wallet i wanted out of stock :(
8. Durian at night with Stephen, Joseph Tan, Chen Xiang, Job.
9. Mon ponned lecture to watch Nancy Drew and Transformers with Pamela and Sunny~!
9.1 And oh both shows were sooo good! Nancy Drew was a big shock, i expected it to be crappy but it turned out good! And Transformers was nice, sounds effects, GRAPHICS, everything! I'd rate them 3/5 and 4.5/5 respectively! :)
10. Pool after that, thrashed :(

Haha, im doing bcom point formatt short report now.... goodness their so much easier to do that the past reports i've been doing in secondary school and stuff. And i so think my "word and encouragement" love language is going up. I feel oh-so-happy nowadays to things people, close people have been saying to me. Oh well perhaps it only applies to people whom are closer, other people saying the same thing simply goes in one side and out the other, and makes me go in my mind "Cut the hypocrasy and leave me alone"

2007-06-29T04:21:00.001+08:00

I woke up alarmed, thought i was late, looked at my watch. And stoned..... It was 4 AM. I hardly slept 2 hours... What an unearthly hour. Well, i've been puntual for school this entire week, i shocked my classmates( 9 out of 10 times, i walk in the lecture door AFTER the lecturer started speaking in the past)..... haha, breakthrough... Tennis at 8 later.... Sigh

Oh and i just got news that church anniversary held at downtown east, at the marquee!!! Haha... i still remember last year's anniversary...

2007-06-28T00:46:00.000+08:00

Hahahaha, today was shuang, 2 hour more sleep cause first 2 hour lecture was e-learning! Yippee! and i got 2 more projects on hand, due to today =X

Didn't go cg, went lifeguards! Woo, i got into "Lifeguard basic 1,2,3" CONDITIONALLY.... omg... i couldn't do egg-beater trekwater with both hands in the air for ONE MINUTE.... argh.... so i got into the test, but by the end of the 4 weeks if i still cant do it, then im out.... Means these 4 weeks must chiong learn.... Then sculling also big problem, have to train..... sigh.... both of these got to do with abs... Perhaps its time to hit the gym, everybody else in the team, have an advantage coz of this! O well... four weeks.... i want 1,2,3,! Else i cant go for bronze medalion!

Tmr 2 hours school, 9-11..... yawns....

And oh, i have 2000 less with me now....

2007-06-26T22:20:00.000+08:00

What would you do when I give you $2000 suddenly without a reason???

Then you draw it out and HALF of it, looks like this:

Okay, enough said, somebody banked in SGD$2000.00 into my account. POSB said they weren't allowed to reveal the account holder's information. Yeah was quite some time actually but i was asking around to see whether it was anybody i know that gave me the money, but apparently not.

So, answer that question above if i havent asked you :) I know this is just ...yet-another-IF-question, but... I've asked at least 10 people and gotten answers. 8 focused on the gift, and what to do with the gift. Sooooooo many things, Oh "Its a blessing from God", give to church, save it, bless others, share it with friends, well... bless your graciousness!

The other 2, Grace and Stephen hahaha, focused on the Giver. One was instant reply, human sense, logic "return you la, not my money what". *clap*clap* I liked that. The other prioritised, returning a large majority, to the giver! :) Ah why am i straying so far.......

But oh well, just to kill curiosity, i decided to pass the 2000 to the nearest police post, and just explaining what happened! Well 40 x $50 dollar note sure is nice to spend, and its REALLY thick when put together in the wallet.... can buy me many things that i want, new leather wallet, new camera, new handphone, a pool cue, go holiday, upgrade desktop etc, plenty!.... But, i wouldn't feel good spending money not mine! Nah, so isn't me... I ain't rich but I've got my principles :) And oh i had stupid idea of randoming transfering the amount to a randomly typed account LOL..... SO bye $$$, dont cry people, cause Jessica Alba said, "You've the freedom, to CHOOSE." I've made my! HAHAH

Oh, i watched Fantastic four with Stephen on Monday at the new AMK hub, then ate durians at searangoon, yes, again :) Was good, ate 3 durians, and i handpicked the 3rd one myself cause i was rather unsatisfied with the first 2 super sweet durians and it turned out YUM!

2007-06-25T04:45:00.001+08:00

Stephen's birthday at his house! Roughly 12:15 haha...

Actually im bored and i remembered SOMEBODY said my blog cannot post photos izzit...? Haha...

2007-06-25T01:17:00.000+08:00

Ahh, been a few crappy days... Thinking alot lately and i haven't really reach any closure within myself.... All i know is i've been placed in awkward positions lately, and i've been making wrong decisions. Well consequences only affect me, and it suck..

Also, it sucks to be helpless. When there obviously are THINGS, happening, but you dont know WHAT, any details or whatsoever. Its just that feeling where people need help but you cant help. I've been reduced to the point where i can do nothing, but pray. And it sucks. Where's that trust you so readily put on your lips everytime? Where's that expected level of openness? Perhaps its just my own expectations... Perhaps i can just dont care, and things will be so much better. My presense is insignificant truthfully, so stop doing things because others are doing it... but ask yourself, what you want! So close to giving up trying. So many trys, same results. I look in the mirror and all i can visualise is a praying man, always praying.

I guess, that's a truth, God wants me to pray, and expect no further than that. So I shall, and wait, because time is a miracle itself. On a brighter note... My pool seem to have suddenly improved!!! I did TWO 1-turn-clear on saturday. Meaning my very first turn of the game, i clear 8 balls :) Havent done this in ages!!! So happy sia, watching the opponent stand one side and watch me win, cant really do anything hahahaha... Once was in the morning b4 service, and once late late in the night, sunday morning actually... Opponents doesn't matter, they didn't participate~! :D

And oh, i have no school tmr, i needa reach school 2 hours later on wednesday, and i leave school 2 hours earlier on thursday! Hip hip hurray!

2007-06-22T02:47:00.000+08:00

Hohoho, Wednesday had cg at Pauls, aka Ming Kuang, aka Harry Potter's house! Well was at woodlands, took cab there after morning call from Kok Leng and Zi Jie(both at the same second....). That cab driver, was female. And she drove much faster than most of the past cabs i've taken! Cab ride was unique... talked crazy lot. Auntie was Malaysian, married to a local, 39 this year, plays mahjong every saturday and sunday, drives a taxi and hopes to earn enough for her retirement by 55. That's not all i know from that journey from hougang to woodlands. She taught me some mahjong techniques, some "unsaid" rules of the game, and many more! LOL.... So friendly, i actually wanted to ask for her number next time take cab around hougang can call but then i gave up that thought.....

After cg i went to woodlands to get a cake.... At breadtalk..... Cause someone said cakeshops close at 9:30..... And so i reached Sengkeng, after carrying that cake box for an hour or so... And i saw the exact same "breadtalk" at SENGKENG!! MY TIAN!! Rah... Oh and its opened. Met Jian Cong, Alvin, Zi Jie and Rui hao then went prepare, play guitar crap around downstair his block area.... Untill closing 12! Then we went up and surprised him! haha..... Well things happened and yeah, my plan worked :) He didn't expect us there! yay! Hahahahaha..... Time, what a simple gift yet appreciated.

After that cabbed to hougang to play Lan with Zj Rh and Alvin! Halflife all the way, total of like 400 kills?!?!?! -.-" yawnage... Job stayed over my place. Received an unexpected email from "so-and-so" haha.... was... motivated and touched? :P (So she remembers and bothers...)

Then i woke up from yet another morning call, from Mabel.... haha, decor retreat at lau pa sar!
Was cool, ate satay, stingray and the usual stuff... Long time since i ate there, since i use to work there last time! Everyday eat untill sian, now it taste so nice -.-"

And had our....tert decor people farewell :( Decor have been fun, mad fun! They did some surprise for me and Nigel, man, will miss that bunch of people! Then they sang that song for us, and everybody held a small cake with a candle..... Atmosphere was damn nice! Forgot how to sing that song liao.... dunno what one family closely knitted together... etc etc! After that went to eat durian and play pool with walmond lee jun and Huaxiang... Got thrashed big time by some strangers.... Cabbed home, dead beat...

2007-06-20T00:25:00.000+08:00

Woo, haha Saturday was something different, went to makansutra to eat after service! And i thought Grace's first time to glutton bay was enough of a joke. It turned out it was her first time eating stingray as well! :D Went to play pool at marina sq after that, saw walmond, Lee, Lay Ling, Cong etc etc, minops CG outing haha.... What a coincidence, its the 2nd time for me!

And monday poker at my house haha.... Darren and Vincent pwned me bad this time, and it lasted throughout... Oh well, at least had super lot of fun haha! Poker games getting super funny nowadays! Oh and ate kfc delivery, was super super nice, cause i was super super hungry =X

And then was lifeguards... Ah, somehow today's training was so enjoyable, despite the 2 hour travelling, just for CCA. Talked loads to the team im in, Met Kean(whom i named Larry), Xiao Long and Hans.... pretty weird names eh? Lol.... We kinda made the intructor for that course vomit blood..... Doing stunts out of no where like handstand in the middle of the pool tgt when we were supposed to swim half lap, then underwater halflap!! That part was dead funny, when we all couldn't hold our breathe anymore, came up and started laughing like hell, esp at the instructor's exasperated expression! Well through all that crapping, we still managed to go through the course, at OUR schedule. The instructor came up with this time schedule to teach what by what time etc, we all said its impossible and started overriding his decisions haha, which in the end, came true!

Learnt many rescue, like high rope throw, low rope throw, float throw, pole pull, buoy rope pull, assist buoy etc etc etc.... And ah, he said soon we'll learn theory :( :( :( Boring part, EAR, CPR, and all the theory stuff, mannnnnnn....

Tuesday was sad, plans screwed. I woke up at 6 AM for no reason, then realised that running at YCK was cancelled as i predicted =X Then NP cycling was cancelled, wow -.-" This wasn't predicted, but i guess its starting to get normal.

Well went to play pool at Q-bistro with Walmond! Haha, was dam fun, today i played well i guess, win lose about 50:50!!! Miracle! He kept giving me that look when he had to rack the balls haha... Then ate durian, then play lan(we lost to 2 kids at the lanshop -.-") then ate durian. Yeah i paid 40 bucks for durians! But it was darn nice, and i ate alot alot alot of durians..... Yummy!

2007-06-16T01:45:00.000+08:00

Wednesday thursday and friday was 3 wonderful days... simply refreshed, like the inner man in me is revived once again!

Wednesday went to crash youth camp~! First frontier. Really fortunate to be part of the crowd that night, listening to the sermon by Shirley... Never give up, to achieve the destiny, winning the schools(and polytechnics!) Dont really know what was up with me the past few weeks, wasn't in denial, wasn't what most of you think, but i just felt something wasn't happening... Dont ask me what, i dont know.

Oh and, i really miss youth :( The sight of seeing the entire congregation of passionate hyperactive christians moving upfront the stage when praise starts, seeing every hand lifted high, everyone jumping up high... wow... Sets my feet to dancing. Oh and this year's youth are like... superman? At 5 AM, the hall was still pretty much full with lively people playing sports haha.... Met many people there, and Cong was nice to leave his group and come sit with me during sermon when he saw me! And oh he uses the parker pen i gave him :) Talked loads overnight, played cards, listen music, listen people play guitar, borrowed the stage drum set, waterbomb and spent the night away!

Then friday, went expo max pavilion for supposedly planetshaker concert, which eventually turned out to be a NCC evangelistic service instead hahaha, but i enjoyed myself thoroughly during the first segment, jumped till feet suan sia... Praise part went infront, the speakers was..... *throb*throb*throb, not at my ears but at my heart. So freaking loud and zai, with that double bass drum pedal, it was like ownage! During the sermon, though i find it pretty surfacial, basic, more of the fundamentals.... I got reminded of , "receiving" grace and righteousness. Not "achieving".

Oh and i redicated this promise i made before whilst in youth. To not be discouraged or affected even if the world were to fall away into the darkness, but continue to lead my life pleasing to the sole audience. Him. Then came the story about the unclean man that nobody touches because they were afraid they would become "dirty" after contact. But Jesus on the other hand went ahead and laid hand, making the unclean, clean. Kinda like my situation right now, i want to follow in Jesus' footstep, but.... WHAT CAN I DO?.... but pray?

Its time to ask God for his FAVOUR.

And lastly, before i sleep(ah its closing 5 am.... service tmr =x ) a big thanks to all those who, perhaps worried or was concerned for me the past weeks. You know very well who you are. Thanks, whether you said it out through your mouth or kept it to yourself, i saw it through your eyes :)

2007-06-12T23:44:00.000+08:00

Oh, finally time to blog!!

Saturday went smoothly, met Grace and Yiwei in the morning to play pool, and saw Gui Hao on the way to nexus. Then cause i havent had breakfast at 5, went to eat at B1~! Then service :)

After service went for supper with Alvin(my ex-shepherd), Yong Deong and ShauN~! haha Went to Upper Thomson's prata! Yummy, liked the mushroom cheese as usual. Ah... talked alot, and Alvin was extra-cranky that day, making excessive jokes about army and the..... darker-toned races. Haha, but despite all his laughter and craziness, can kinda sense he's pretty worried about me, and how i'm doing in school/cg. Main thing was, i felt love :) Geninue care and concern from somebody's who's already so busy with camp games com, working, 5+ sheeps, and leading his cg. Yet still made time to eat and catch up, spend time tgt!~! Woo, what did i do to deserve this, i wonder. Appreciate, grateful!

Wanted to play lan but lanshop was full, so we cabbed to play pool, then play lan, then home! Ah, the 2 left was like 2 zombies when i left.... Both complaining about their busy schedules and how tired they are.... lol....

Bascically spent sun reading book. 180 pages in a night.

Monday was kinda wasted also, went school with Grace to collect garskin. Went 5 minutes late, couldn't collect(3:55.... close at 4...) but they said did stock check already so come back another day... wtbbq(i learnt a new word from sunny! LOL). O well watched movie with lappy till 6 then bring Grace to her dance class(Suagu! dunno where own class)..... Then home.

tuesday went shopping with mother and she agreed to sponsormy bike! yay haha

2007-06-09T01:11:00.000+08:00

Ouch.... Man i think running 4 km after 2 months of inactivity was a bad idea cause my thigh ache like crazy now. O well, cant reverse that. :(

Anyway, did project for ages, from morning to afternoon. Was pretty cool, we accomplished lots in that time! Like everybody was so co-operative and nice, different from when their in class/school.... Perhaps it was the absensce of girls. Are girls, the arch nemesis of guys? Then after project the project people went to play lan gaming. Ah, i played for 15 minutes and got bored, went to challenger table and play pool LOL. Bad move, that seemingly innocent uncle there was pro to the max!

After that i went to Darren's house, played poker and mahjong. Well i went with another motive, one of the 4 friends there, my good friend, a brother, had some family problems, verge of divorce, i went to talk to him spend sometime and prayed for him(quite a breakthrough for me, felt weird but ah i did it). Really hope things will turn out better for me...

O well but about the game... totally ridiculous.... At first was super lucky, i anyhow play also can winning $40..... So kinda-hearted-me treated them to pizza hut cause i didn't want to take their money. $60.. so i used my winnings and forked out another 20 from my pocket. Guess what, after that, the game continued and i lose like crazy! Totally crazy, lost 40 bucks. Dam hiliarious... the kind of cards i got and still lose -.-" They offered to return me their winnings but haha, nah, pride issue! *oops* i mean, if i can afford to play i can afford to lose what... lol.....

And after playing poker, this mind-bogging game with these clique so many times... i totally can think, like them. LOL! Like i can read through their thoughts and say, BULLSHIT! And they'll go "yala yala" lol.... But not all the time right..... Can know everybody's tactic, their reasoning, their style, practically everything, spun out of their charactor. How much a poker game can tell yeah? Jio me one day, whoever's reading :)

P.S: Oh and yesterday i left out an important part of my blog! While playing pool, the table beside us had two hot hongkonger girls that looked like Dawn Yang haha, and a guy. They were drinking one full bottle of XO. 40%.... mind you, 3 person finished the entire bottle, none of them face turned red.... Omg, alcohol runs in their blood man! I drink half cup = KO. Sumore they can still play pool normally, though their ...."content of speech" might have been affected by the alchohol cause they sound a little whiny lol... Perhaps its just them... But i wish i can hold my alcohol that well, so i wont get drunk. Or at least not LOOK drunked!

2007-06-08T01:09:00.000+08:00

ROAR!! YAY, my holidays have finally began!!! Today's OB's paper was a breeze :) NOT! Oh well, not really sure how i fared, but i left quite a bunch of blanks. 5 mins late for the 1 hour paper, left 25 minutes early.

Time really flies man.... so fast and im already having my holidays.... but sadly nothing REALLY memoriable happened the past few months, pretty boring, how monotonous....

Took bus to opposite KAP and wait for Grace ~~Shit~~ Wong haha. Wait for ages for a bus cause she was fussy over the bus to pick -.-" Crapped loads on the bus till YCK haha, went stadium and met Pamela ~~Shit~~ Yeo! I ran 10 rounds today!!! Woo, after like... 2 months of no-running-on-track?! The last time i ran was with Alvin at Toa Payoh, before handing in my form H(yeah thats ages ago) 10 rounds is 4km! Im proud of myself haha..... Pam did 10 too, Grace did 8,vast improvement from the 2 the previous time....

853-ed (not cab, achievement, give me your applause please!) to Q-bistro even though i was 30 minutes late from the time we planned to meet. How clever of me, because its a trait of Walmond to be late. I reach, 2 minutes after he reach, played pool. Hey i improved! Even though i lose, i didn't lose as badly lol.... Then we happened to see (*ehem* to someone) Aaron Poh Yong so punched haha...

Ate KFC with my mum and here i am! :)

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HOLIDAYS
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2007-06-07T01:21:00.001+08:00

Haha wed's bstats paper.... no clue it was easy or hard, i'll just keep to saying easy, though im not sure whether i did well or not cause i have that bad premonition that i didn't do as well as i thought.... :( :( :(

O well, today before paper was studying at Pamela's house, i found my way here to her new house and met Max for the first time!! Super emo-dog, not that lively barking young pup i was expecting -.-" Studying was fine, cause peace and a proper state of mind was still present at that point of time. Cabbed to school , then took the paper, then took 74 to AMK hub to lunch at NYN~! Tabao food for the girls(Pam and Vona), food like... super soggy shaker fries, then cabbed back to her house.

This time, things were different..... mp3's, camera's, laptops, songs. DISTRACTION, didn't study at all and just took pictures and lamed around lol.... Was funny though! Pictures i guess... nth much! Just 100pictures!!! lol lol lol... well alot of multi shots of the 2 jumping girls.... and emo-dog though.

LAST PAPER TMR! WOOOHOO~!

2007-06-06T00:07:00.000+08:00

Oh, the new kfc miso chicken sucks... dont try it haha! Practically eating salted chicken -.-" Oh well, monday night suddenly felt a burst of energy, so didn't feel like sleeping.. slept at 8(8hours after midnight that is), watched pirates 1, and 2... and my super ex girlfriend haha...

Slept till 1+ then went to study at one fullerton's starbucks with Felicia and Kok Leng~! Rather crap, no air con, they wanted to study outside cause they needed space to lie on the table and sleep -.-""""" Haha, java chip was nice~! I studied a little while those 2 didn't really seem to do much except play songs on my lappie, then went to meet Stephen and some other RP's coreteam! Played pool at The Labyrinth and then ate chicken rice, then eat anderson's icecream then home~! Haha, had fun talking and playing with my SB :) :)

Last 2 papers, weds and thurs! Woo holiday

2007-06-04T20:41:00.000+08:00

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Thanks brother! :)

2007-06-03T23:37:00.000+08:00

Woah so many things seemed to have happened in the past 48 hours!!! So tired now, but im afraid i'll forget what i wanted to blog about so here i am!

(i actually fell asleep here after typing the first line.... knocked out on the bed -.-".... continued typing after my ct)

Saturday morning paper was late by 30 minutes for a 60 minute paper? Managed to finish in time, mainly because of the last question "Whats the difference between intranet and extranet?[10m]" which i wrote 2 lines only.... Rah, 20% donated away.

After school cabbed home, was pretty tired, but then just as i was about to sleep... Grace called and said we're studying later. Omg i totally forgotten actually hahaha but i just said oh,yeah, what time we meeting =X So i only was allowed a 30 min nap then i left for united sq's starbucks to study! Oh well, place was comfy, with sofa seats and a good waterfall view haha..... Hot chocolate was nice! And the oreo of the oreo cheesecake was nice lol :p Studying was fruitful for me but not Grace i suppose!

Then went down to service after that and was... one minute early :) And the sermon was oh-so-good....

Then there was animated clip at the end! The part when jesus washed the feet of everybody who walked up the hill..... reminded me of Alvin my ex-shepherd(who smsed me like 10 minutes after it? so coincidental) when he washed the coreteam's feet during caregroup last time... Everything felt so real then, when it happened... The entire process was like replayed in my mind, so personal... Perhaps there were things that i didn't totally agree with him in the past, but he's done his best as a shepherd and led an exemplary lifestyle himself for me to follow. Characteristics, humility, love, desire, trust, respect, etc etc etc, he's shown it all.

Oh and the part when Jesus personally received the person next in the row, calling each and everyone, by NAME, not nickname,... Felt so nice if you'd put yourself in the person's shoe!

Did nothing after service, waited for Ze Jun at first, then Stephen, then took train home together! Haha, talked quite a bit with Stephen, alot to catchup with my SB man! At home, packed my bag, packed ALOT of stuff, then cabbed to my auntie's place at simei.... Ah, was so bored there, and webmessenger was giving me alot of problems, but Stephen called!

Really thank God for putting him there, reminded me of many things, and was really encouraging! I was sad about cg standards days ago, all that "fun", about the plastic's and was about to come to this conclusion- This is tertiary cg's standard, this is their culture, this is what the people are like, cant be helped, no point comparing to the past and making myself unhappy, just take what's offered, do what their doing and perhaps, be more joyful? NO WAY, that's what i'll say now. Dont compared with youth standards, compare it with God's standard... Compromising is not a solution, i'll be deceiving myself. But still... i've no clue where to start..... i guess i'll start with myself, my spiritual life. Get things right. Talk talk talk about alot of other stuff.. unknowingly became 3+ and the entire house was like so quiet and dark, so went to sleep.

Woke up at 6 from the noise everybody was making over the groom's dressing and hair... Got up to help do the hair since the girls are -.-" Completely clueless. They kept adding wax and water and his hair was like totally wet and they kept saying "Cannot stand leh, will keep dropping!". Time was like running out so i asked for a hair drier and dried his hair and showed them how it's supposed to be done lol...

Then waited for awhile, people started coming in... got changed (kewl i seriously dropped inches on my waist, cause the pants i could wear properly during my O lvl DEC holidays, is now too big... ). Opened the car door, a very very very difficult thing to do.... then ate.... witnessed tea ceremony and all...

Went over to my cousins'(Jean and Joan) place to study for awhile then after much debate on what to do, we went to watch Shrek 3 at Lido, Lido 1, biggest digital cinema in singapore! Ah, then went to Holiday Inn Atrium for the actual wedding ceremony. Food was great, service too, but the speakers beside the table was a little too loud for my ears... I suppose i had a drink too much, the red wine was good, and they kept pouring so i kept drinking.... But i was sober and aware that my face was red all along! Lol, could feel my face's heat, but i just kept drinking, pretty bored cause my table people doesn't talk much.

Rah, went home, started typing this post but then accidentally fall asleep halfway on the bed -.-" Woke up JUST IN TIME to get change and leave for my exam paper, heng sia! No alarm clock, i just naturally woke up in time... MIEC paper was pretty easy, calculator bring for nothing... studied a little too much for nothing..... hope to get an Ace!

And ah, here comes my KFC delivery... sudden craving for KFC lol.... cya people!

2007-06-01T23:47:00.000+08:00

Time flies. This week flew! :)

Tuesday i forgot what i do.... Wednesday was cg, thursday was studying, friday poker and mahjong!

Haha.... and some pictures that happen to be in my laptop!

What do you do when your bored during lectures?! hahahaha

Studying at macs ;) Studying was pretty fruitful for me! And hot chocolate at macs was pretty good. And eh.. this picture dunno y not moving -.-" supposed to be a blinkie!

Pamela when she was 13 years old??? This supposed to blink too! :( BOOOO

2007-05-28T23:03:00.000+08:00

9 June... - 18 june......... SCHEDULE!

Sigh..... i just made a decision not to go China with my friends and mum. Was a rather tough decision, hope i dont regret it! haha, cause..... Its probably one of the last chances i can get to go on a 9 day holiday, cause teacher said coming holidays might have attachment, or project and stuff.... And i havent gone on a holiday for quite a while.... And i want to go shopping..... ah, quite a long list of reasons to go

But then there's the list of reason not to go as well, i'll miss two service in a row... i'll miss youthcamp last night NED reunion!!! I'll miss planetshaker concert, the weather's supposedly hot at China at this season(though the last time i went, it rained hail during summer...), I'll miss out on alot of time to catchup with my secondary school friends like vincent and darren! yak yak yak, yet another list of reasons.

But o well.....

2007-05-28T22:34:00.001+08:00

I survived the 9-5 nobreak timetable.... wewt..... imma surviver!

And, im so glad to be able to hear normally now, both ears perfectly healed. How ironic i never really understood "Thank God for giving my ears that i can hear" untill recently. Guess its only when you lose something, then you truely realise the significance of it. Perhaps too simple that people might take for granted and treat it as an obligation, as a norm?

Ah. Common test starts on Saturday. How come im not getting that "feel"... everybody around me seems to have at least started on their studying a little but for me, i havent OPENED a single textbook i bought, i havent read a file more than once, which is during the lecture/tutorial itself. So many topics are pretty vague to me, the most i have is a very basic of the topic. Im so going to die if nothing happens. I WANT TO GO SMU! :O

2007-05-27T19:32:00.000+08:00

Oh service was great yesterday, especially worship. It was.... personal :) :) Would have regretted if i followed my feelings and didn't turn up!

Pretty weird celebration of Rachelle's birthday, then went to watch Pirates! haha, first time watching a show that past midnight, with 27 people... Show was good i'd say, though i didn't watch part 1 and 2, liked the plot and the action part at the end!

And KEWL, my house internet is down, dunno what problem and the technician can only come and repair on TUESDAY!!!! Im at hougang mall macdonalds right now using their internet.... ah.... 3 days of ISOLATION! :( :( :( Sian sian sian sian sian sian.... somebody call and talk to me! haha

2007-05-26T13:02:00.000+08:00

Lol i never really believed those common internet scams about getting free money for doing nothing... But yesterday, Muhammad Adam from Auckland- New Zealand remitted S$188 to me, because i won a 1v1 dota match online! And, i dont know him. It wasn't a gamble it'd say, if i lost the game, he gets an ego boost, if i won, i get the prize! Lol.... He's a working adult and im so so guessing he probably was drunk, or he had friends around him during the game =X How interesting the internet can be, with its mass variation of people... So... thank God?

Clueless ESS later on, I went to the toilet 5 times, since i woke up.

2007-05-24T22:54:00.000+08:00

My God.... dont ask me what's wrong with me, but lately, or particularly the past 7 days or so.... i've been sick, either for one reason(or 5 -.-"), or another at every one point of time!!! Right now my stomache's aching like nobody business, and im feeling damn lethargic.... Like just now after i came home, i zonked out on my bed for 30 mins or so..... rare thing to happen to me cause i ALWAYS bathe after i reach home.... Like no energy to do anything.. dont feel like going SnW and CATS tmr :(

One more thing that i realise when im sick, is that i tend to.... have that intention to pick up a FIGHT! I know its weird but i just have that... itch to fight. Perhaps because i like it cause im more calm when i fight? Perhaps cause i get that temporial burst of energy? Perhaps when i fight i forget about my ailments and pains, I empty my mind of thoughts, everything, and simply focus? But i wonder who'd be in the right frame of mind to fight with me just cause i felt like -.-" This is stupid, im mad, ignore this paragraph!

Wednesday had cg at Fel's place! Nothing much to say, whole dam stomache pain like crazy, its worst than gastric i'd say, but it just hurts, totally no appetite.... went home, even more pain, hard time trying to sleep.... But!

Gotta Thank Felicia for her efforts this caregroup! She paid for the food, cooked the food, prepared the place and everything! Not a pleasant job if you give it to me, sumore parents wouldn't be happy having a huge mess outside her room and all! But yeah it happened! :) Mahjong, tai di.... food.... Oh and on wednesday, from i wake up till i sleep, i only age 1 ferarro rocher!

Thursday was even better, school from 9-11, then 11-1 prepartion for classmate bdae.... We bought him a sexy tight NUM singlet, made him wear, gave him a present he took 20 minutes to open that eventually led to a small bottle of baby food, we gave him a nice smack of whipcreamcake on his face, a brocoli flower as a.... flower(which he actually ate raw...) and yeah... LOL! Chalet tmr.... nt sure if going

After that went home bathe, then, DRUMs lesson from walmond! Dam fun! hahaha. And he's really pro can... what he taught me today.... He up the speed SIX TIMES, and did a 54 bar drum solo. My tian.... 1 word. OWNAGE! Sounded so zai, and he did it like its no big deal! I havent found the wrong person to teach me! Perfect candidate lol.... oh i learnt single stroke...... LRLRLRLR..... and single perididum, RLRRLRLL! and how to fill in :) And many many many other theory stuff he kept rattling on, but i probably wont know much till i try it myself!

Then went to play pool at Q-bistro, and he talked loads about his CG trip to thailand..... sound so fun siol! I want to go siol! No time to go though! :( Sounds so so so tempting and fun! Paintball that leave bruises.... Go karts that nobody dares to reach the max speed unlike Singapores.... Jet skis with no boundaries, that go super fast, that travel beside big boats, ripley's mansion, shopping, shopping, shopping!..... BOO, no time no friends! BOO!

2007-05-21T23:43:00.000+08:00

I spent more than 2 hours reading this sermon Lin sent me! http://www.sermonaudio.com/mediapdf/52906154239.pdf ..... and wow... Not the normal kind of sermon you'd hear in everyday life, not meant for the weak in faith I'd say. But which of you would actually willingly take time to read, with understanding, such a long 15-pages word document i wonder. Which of you would spend time reading it, and sacrificing some time blog hopping, playing games, studying or going out? Tell me if you've read it, if you've cried, or if you think you felt that the preacher was talking about "you! hahahaha

2007-05-20T01:40:00.000+08:00

F***!.... thats the only thing i would say now... Freaking deleted one super super long blog post that i typed cause of...censorship? This would be a rephrased version, that only people closer to me, would probably understand what im trying to say... sight beyond sight.

Supposed to go play mahjong at wal's place again but i missed my stop so i decided to go pungol park and i ended up walking one whole round. 1.2 KM.

My thinking seemed to have changed... and its affecting my behaviour/actions i guess..... In the past i had responsiblities, my actions would affect others, people EXPECT to see consistency in me... Now, its my life. I wont exactly say im a hypocrite, what i have said before still remains, my principles are.... principles. BUT.... things are so different, so difficult...

People around me are like, plastic? Plastic, plastic, plastic.

Who sincerely cares when im sick, or quiet, i know, and i appreciate. The rest? "Yeah, im ok" would actually mean "Scram, i dont need hypocrites."

Then theres church systems, groupings etc.... i call them divisions. What can you do when your not entirely... joyful in the company of your group? Thats the way things are, this school, there you go....

I didn't go for cg on wednesday. I was sick, really sick but still it was rather weird that i didn't go cause i was sick.... not like im wheel chair bound, or unconscious... I was never like that. In the past, CG? I can literally say, "no matter how sick", i'll turn up there, late at most. Meetings? How can i help, print teaching notes? Lead a game? Now the sparkle-in-the-eye is missing.

I can get 10 miss calls when i didnt go cg. I can get another 10 miss calls when i didnt go workers meet. Then you ask me, "How come you never turned up?" hmmm....I never said i was going, you simply told me about it.

ESS next week. Another no-visitor week for me? I'll say its rather.... easy for me to bring a non-believer, or at least a no-church believer to service. If i wanted. Offer this chance to make that big decision.... get them settled in..... But....but...but...

If a pool saloon has crooked cuesticks, stained tableclothes, poor service, noisy techno songs and i hate playing pool there, would i invite a good friend of mine, to play pool with me there? And give him a bad pool game experience, and waste his time? No, that'll be unlike me. I only bring people to places where i first enjoy and like the place.

Today after service, till i reach home..... 7:45 to 11:30..... i ate. Thats about all i did, what a waste of time, of life. So much more thoughts, i'll keep to myself. A bus ride home, and a walk in the park. God, its time to start giving me answers, for my, WHYS!

"I give up" is a easy thing to say..... But because of a few individuals in the group that i treasure, it wont be said, or done. Give them some time, prove me wrong please. I'll continue to believe.... things will get better, dont disappoint me.

2007-05-19T03:16:00.000+08:00

Haha naruto 234's out.... watched... too short -.-" Now its another 7 days wait for 235 !! Sigh....

Now watching The Da Vinci Code! haha.... if you've been wondering what im doing the past few days since my head isn't in the condition to play interactive games that involves my brain(i use brains to play games, not experience or techniques!), i've been watching MOVIES. Movie after movie after movie..

Wedding crasher, Step Up, Final Fantast 7, Shooter, TMNT, Naruto Movie 3, Pirates(Dead Man's Chest), Mr Bean Holiday, Dream Girls.

Yes. ALOT. Since in my definition, resting on bed watching movie is jsut about the same as sleeping.... They both dont really take much effort..... so these were done at the expense of my sleep? haha

2007-05-18T23:39:00.000+08:00

Thursday went school.... was still horribly sick, cough throughout.... argh, after school cabbed down to ROM @ fort canning to witness my cousin get married hehe.... Interesting... Then went for dinner, food was great! Then went off at around 8+ to play mahjong at walmond's place.... haha

Mahjong was damn funny, cause im pretty much a noob, cause i dont know how to count the folds, or "tai"s, so as long as i can win (hu), i'll go ahead.... So end of the day, i practically won more rounds than the other 3 player added together -.-" Was darn funny cause sometimes they see i going to win then they like dam panic cause they said i got very good set... what 4-fold what 5-fold.... S$3.20 ea! Lolx... i was like blur blur, saying "I just want to end the game".... Then sometimes, or rather MANY TIMES Walmond got very good tiles, just lacking 1-2 tiles to end game.... i win before him with some crappy tiles with 1/2 folds!! And this happened like dunno how many times..... Cabbed home and reached at 2.....

Friday school at 8, omg, so little sleep, but i couldn't sleep so reached school at 7:30.... 2 hour tennis, 2 hour cats... 3 hours to go fel house bathe and slack and play catch-the-hamster and eat yummy pasta, then another 2 hours of makeup tennis.... and 2 hours of make up lecture.... So that ended, at 7.... 8-7, KILLER man! Sumore i was (there was a power failure at this point of time.... but thank God for blogger's new auto-saver that saves every few minute.... ) ok yeah, i was..... super sick. Sore throat was at its climax, my voice sounded like not-my-voice..... "people" said i sounded "sexy" -.-" cough was horrible, it was like one cough would lead to a chain of cough, that felt like a pierce into my lung ... oWW..... then theres the running nose that doesn't stop ..."running". Gaaaaawrddd! Just let me be totally healed when i wake up tmr.... If i do sleep.... =X

Went to visit Joseph lin at TTSH with Grace after school.... horrible school..... friday was meant to be a nice reach-home-at-one-and-sleep day....... He got his right leg in a cast atm cause he got banged by a lorry while catching his bus! Well i wont say i wasn't expecting/anticipating this to happen one day -.-" It'll probably either due to accident, or parkouring, or some sort of stunts! Speedy recovery bro!~!

Supposed to go play mahjong again with walmond cause he's flying off on sunday ..... but due to PEER PRESSURE, i went home to "rest".

So yeh, im resting now! :) Nites! Gunna check if naruto 233's out :) :) :)

2007-05-16T23:18:00.000+08:00

yawn.... nothing interesting to blog about.... slept alot today.... or i wont actually call it sleep cause i kept opening my eyes and ...and... stone? Yeah, perhaps another word is REST.

Watched movies,,,, went darren house play poker cards.... visited by Felicia, who didn't have to call to ask for directions surprisingly..... and... thats about all...

going school tmr :)

2007-05-16T01:01:00.000+08:00

This post would have became yet another whiny rant of mine about my sickness, but naa, thanks to various PEOPLE!!!!

I went to the doctors today noon time, got a bunch of medicine and 3 days MC from the same doctor that refused me a day's MC when i was in sec 4. Headache, fever, sore threat, cold, flu, ear infection.... what more can i ask for? Haha, sucks to be sick! Basically spent most of my time eating chocolate, or chocolate related food... and watching movies(caught like 4 full length ones in A day?)

Thanks to the people who visited me!
Vincent Lam came in the morning, a tad early but o well no harm since i've more than enough sleep haha, caught up a little then he left

Shannon came after school to pass me some school handouts and told me what we learnt today, though i had a horrible time mastering dreamweaver and adobe photoshop alone -.-"

Fel called to give regards, but apparently she herself succumbed to fever soon after? Ah... tk care siol....

And Xueping, Vincent Chin and Job! They came at an unearthly(for them though its pretty normal to me) hour i wouldn't expect! 11:15? Haha.... Thanks a bunch man, brought lots of goodies for me too! Somemore 2 of them stay at like.... outram and lavender?! So far!! <3'ss

Action speaks louder than words! :) Thanks people~!

I've always had this issue, about friends.... I've many "friends" but who are my true friends? I've forwarded many friend-related emails, but which can occur in reality? I've many contacts, but who would i call, in my darkest moments, perhaps when i need a listening ear? Many characteristics, but who's truely, understanding, and loyal? My heart and my mind doesn't tally :( So uncertain...

So... are you going to be the one, coming to visit me in jail one day saying "Hey bro, how are you doing in there?" Or would you be the one squatting beside me in jail saying "Crap, we screwed up!"

2007-05-14T21:43:00.000+08:00

Im dying..... nothing goes right when im sick, ear infection, high fever, a irritant cold and flu -.-" Can i just sleep through it!!!

2007-05-13T21:02:00.000+08:00

Saturday was a bore.... service, dinner, lan, pool, tauhuay with people... :(

But o well, after that was hella fun! Went to pool junction cause labytrine was full with Walmond and Leejun at around 12... Waited for table for quite awhile also but eventually got one :) Played round robin, loser throws 2bucks into pool haha! Was super fun man, shiok place to play pool, and i played exceptionally well! Leejun and me was kinda on par, with Walmond on the winning end generally... Won a few though! We played till like 3+.... the bill rounded up to $40! First time for me, all high record to be able to play so long and not get sian. Cabbed home cause people waiting to dota at home haha!

Sunday morning woke up and ate lunch with my father, overslpt A LITTLE! Then went to shop for mothers day gift! Got some stuff from crabtree N evelyn... Then went to SGH to see doctor cause my right ear hearing problem!!!! Omg, doctor said infection near the ear drum thus cant hear properly(It means it'll be harder for me to hear my alarm clock to wake up -.-") sucks lar... Im like hearing this eEEeeEeeEeeEeeee sound in my ear, and i cant listen clearly from the right ear... so i use hp = use left ear...

Dinner with mother at ichiban sushi.... YUM the food was good! And lucky i made a reservation.... the queue on the spot? L-O-N-G!

Sigh.... my bank account finally went broke! Im so dead i havent been broke for a pretty long time.... spend alot on dunnoe what.... Anything but shopping spree for clothes and stuff! Past 2 days spend alot though.... die die die ~ MoKky^ will do something about it, cause he doesn't like to be broke and he's smart! :)

And.... life's starting to get a pretty boring, not that im dam free no activity... Mainly because of the people i've been.... "forced" to be together with. Obligated would be a better word. The majority of the time im spending are with people i simply get.... SIAN within seconds..... How'd you define FUN? I dont actually need people who are generous and always giving treats.... jokers who are able to crap jokes after jokes and "entertain" the group.......Or people who try very hard to initiate conversations so i wont be quiet...

Just being in the company of friends who had spent life with me, thats all... Not event-based friends, not hypocrites.... they suck, detest them. But sometimes situations force me to be together? Sigh.. waste of my time . my life . I want to enjoy every second of my life :) Purpose. Joy.

2007-05-12T02:02:00.000+08:00

Wednesday was kinda sucky, simply cause of some people in my class... hmm, made me kinda moody for some reason?

My class currently is split into 2 obvious cliques.... One's consist of christians/catholics, + a few that got irrtated by the other clique. The other consist of, crudely put, bitches, and people who either are looking for girls, or fell into the relentless pursuit of some single girls... *shrugs*

Seriously dont wish for this to happen man...my class of 13 is already small enough, cliques?! makes things harder to happen...To make things worst, im in the same project team in one of the.... worse bitch, whom i have somehow started to despise now. 1) She's not pretty, yet talks like she's some celeb. 2) She expects me to go school at 9:45 to do tutorial, when lessons starts at 1, because she's meeting her friend at 11. What more i already finished the questions and she hasn't even read them.(well i didn't go) 3) She's stupid. clear cut. The tutorial answers she done on the transparency? I put it on the projector and ignored it, taking my own foolscap paper with answers and started my presentation. In the end i striked out 70% of her answers and filled in my own in front of the class. 4) I know i shouldn't bear such grudge but i simply cant stand her can? Plus she's in my project group.... expecting conflicts in the near future...

O well after lessons at 4, was damn damn sian for no reason. Had that pmsy feeling and alone, super boring, had thoughts of just going home and sleep and pontang cg at 6.... But logic got over me i guess and thank God for Grace... wewt, called her and went to block 51 to wait for her, then waited and talked tgt till cg starts... At least i feel better when im not alone, esp. when the peron's talking throughout! Led holy communion, kinda screwed up cause my mind was still pretty blank from the ...sian sian feeling? Left early and went to funeral wake at hougang, then went home. went out for supper at night with lydia ;p Caught up with this ole' friend! And goodness, she's already in young adults(what youths always talk about? LOL)

Thursday, school's short :) Ended at 2. Went home to bathe, then went out to play pool with Walmond, and as usual it happened -.-"

Friday overslept -.-" Reached school at 10, SnW ended at 10. So went for CATS in SnW attire LOL, i find CATS lesson lame.... throughout practically crapping lame ideas to the teacher, who amusingly, thought we were like serious and kept gaving encouraging compliments.... After school went with Lester LAM(my classmate, drummer from risen christ church siol....) to gym orientation that took 1 hour haha.. The machines are cool man, and i didn't believe they actually spent close to a million on that US-import gym.... And haha... lester's student no and mine, is 10048366, and 10048636.... what a coincidence?

Then went to J8 with Felicia to watch Rachelle cut hair haha..... no comments, or rather, comments shall be kept to myself -.-" Then went for decor at nexus! Youth decor :P Lol.... Mabel looked different.. prettier actually! Haha, first time seeing her with make-up on i suppose... Chloe was more talkative than usual, Jacyln, Mabel, Crystal, Li Ping all laugh untill stomache pain, cannot eat because of her ~ ~ ! Ended at 10, pretty early this time... Home, dota, and now, waiting for naruto 233 to download so im bloggin!

And... saw the youth drama team at work at nexus! Man.... Youth's so lucky to have such a dedicated drama team, rehearsing till they lose their voice, till past 10 in the night, with service the very next day..... And the way they even REHEARSE, so serious and focus!

58%.... shucks i blogged too fast...

2007-05-09T00:48:00.000+08:00

Ah rather tired atm... Shall make this snappy and go to sleep before 1:30!!! Hmm, didn't sleep a wink on monday night, dont ask me why... Kept rolling about bed untill like 6 then i stopped trying and went to get ready for school! WASN'T LATE FOR SCHOOL! Haha, school as normal... scored 74/100 for my oral communication :p Crapped it out and actually not bad haha! Met the usual bitchy people who i cant be bothered to talk to.... yak yak yak yeah. And i actually finished a project together with Rastus, thats due on 27 May! Yay, something off my mind! Met Grace at 5+ at canteen 2 with Julian, talked, crapped.... She's kinda ... different compared to my other friends i have man. She can literally talk non-stop, to a relatively quiet person like me, and not run out of topics to talk about! *claps* Haha, then bus-ed to YCK to supposedly run with Pamela.... met Job on the bus! But the YCK stadium was filled with... hmm, MPA? People of the other colour..... Sucked, we couldn't run.... So after listening to some whining -.-" I went to TPY to settle some stuff then went home! Goodness, im dead tired now and im blogging in a super continuous manner with no paragraphing, so unlike me, hard for readers but if ur reading this, means you've read it!

2007-05-07T23:43:00.000+08:00

Haha, been really busy the past few days going out! Saturday night, finally caught spiderman 3 with xue and vince! Went to eat icecream at PS with my SB before that haha. And know something? I took night rider home for the first time ever at around 4AM! Actually, it was even faster compared to the ridiculous cab i took the previous time....

Watched and deleted some movies and slept like 8AM in sunday's morning. When i woke up, much of Sunday have already past.... chionged my elearning assignments, 2 of them, due by 1159, then went to have supper with vincent(not chin!).

Monday, today, was... WEWT~ tutorials from 9-11 cancelled. So i thought school was from 1-3..... Apparent i overslept and went at 1:30, only to see my class at the bustop. Guess what? Lecture from 1-3 also cancelled!!! Oh my, cause i was already like 40 minutes late, which means mark absent if the lecture actually occured!

Well everyone was clueless as to how to spend their day, what to do etc... was like so sian. So, clever me decided to go queue for DONUTS! Cabbed to cityhall and started queueing, while smsing people if they want donuts haha... Bought 24 eventually, 6 for myself, 6 for Felicia, 6 for Brian, and the 6 meant for Grace got devoured by lifeguards cause she already left for bugis by the time i reach back NP! Lol... Queue for like, 2 hour 30 minutes?! Cabbed back to school after that, then went for lifeguards training!

Training today was, tough? Warm up = 4x4(freestyle,breaststroke,sidestroke,backstroke). Then we re-learnt the 5 entries into the water, and the 4 types of victim. Then, we did board throwing! Man alot of people cant aim well hahaha, had fun practising aiming! Then we did items, which was totally tiring. 1 sprint of freestyle, up to land, do alternating 20pushups, or 1 MINUTE leg lift, then no break continue another sprint, repeat repeat repeat. Did 6 times.... Totally tired, ESPECIALLY the pushups part man....

Thank God~ Felicia came to fetch me home! Well, to collect her share of donuts also ;p So thankful man... no need to walk! ahhh, first drove to pungoll nasi lemark centre, which was sandwiched between two durian stores? QUEUEING AGAIN! Well much shorter this time, less than 30 minutes... yum yum, then she drove me home :) Right to the lift lobby!

Hmm... i spent alot today -.-" Close to a hundred! AHh, ought to cab less, it'll help alot!

2007-05-05T00:07:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, didn't turn up for lifeguard's training on Wednesday, was down with flu :( Well, ended up having a little talk with my new shepherd after school, then went to slack around... Job came, then Josephine, then Grace, and a few others... Then most left to watch Spiderman 3, so Job Vincent and I went to eat pizzahut at bukit timah plaza... then play pool.... Haha, time seemed to have fly, it was like closing 10 already.. Then we cabbed to tampines to visit Augustine haha, he's down with food poisoning.... Bought bubble tea and then started searching for his house.... Went in, only chatted for around 15 mins then we left for home :)

Then yesterday night my other shepherd Alvin came to my house! Haha stayover! We went to like... pungol park at 2 to walk walk? Walk one circle, which was approximately 1.2KM. Ate at KPT, then went to my house... Talked, talked... lots to catch up one! Then watched naruto Movie 3 together, then we spent QT together. Then dont ask me why, we started to talk about the bible's timeline flow... Like trying to test our bible memory or something -.-" Ended up sleeping at 5, wake up at 6+ supposedly for school, but..... make a guess? Yeah, slept again and woke up at 730. Cabbed to school which.... OMG, another lousy cab driver! Whats with my luck nowadays man, driving me crazy!! TWENTY FIVE BUCKS to go to Ngee Ann Poly from my house, totally no sense, i can go to lakeside with that amount i think... But owell, i slept throughout so i didn't know WHY it cost so much, or took so long.

Reached at 9+, adjunct lecturer so he just marked my attendence, didn't rlly care that i was late... It was raining badly so we just played dog and bone till 9:30, 10 minutes debrief about next week, and yeah... END OF SCHOOL! And btw, my SnW has many pretty girls -.-"

Today ... Excluding the sleep i deserved till 3, lets just say, i "invested" my time in my family. Had some tickets to MAX pavillion where theres this touching hearts concert meant for mothers/older generation, where marcus chin, jack neo, mark lee etc etc(all those old people like the artiste) were present..... Brought my mum there, 8- 10.... I STONED throughout..... super super boring form of "entertainment".... Dont understand why that thousand over people there liked it and kept laughing -.-" Owell purpose met i suppose, just spent some time with my mum.... and tada, here i am!

Poly life and ministry doesn't appear to give me as much personal/family time.... read through my past blogpost and hella, i seem to be out every single day. And as for the times i was at home, either im asleep, or there're friends in my house which i couldn't neglect. Most days im home past midnight, and thats about time my mother went to sleep.... Guess its time to manage my time better and be, BALANCED!

I know what's important for me in my life, i know very well what my priorities are, i know clearly what i want, and more importantly, i dont want more regrets.... and thats why i work hard for it.... How about you?

2007-05-02T00:37:00.000+08:00

Im so glad Sean came for Urban Groove on sunday! Haha, the seats were uncomfortable, but the doritos with salsa was nice! Hear it was nice many many times, but never really bothered trying to eat this! And..... goodness, Sean's much better than me in pool, played with him at paradiz centre after UG2 and reached home around 12.

Monday was school as usual, my class' getting more united, starting to talk more to various peeps....! Improvement, something good i guess? After school was lifeguards! Woah, trainings much more fun then the non-stop swimming the previous week. Some kind hearted senior pulled me out and "refined" my swimming strikes, paying attention to very small details and hey! My free style FEELS faster now.... maybe its psychological, but o well. At least i know my mistakes that i never knew, always thought i swim pretty ok, jsut lack stamina.... And, we learnt the 5 styles of entry into the water, and not just that, their REASONS as well.... And the 4 general type of victims, and the reasons again. Woo, have yet to learnt float throwing and rope throwing! Went to KAP mac's after that to eat with Thia and HIS GIRLFRIEND...... goodness, after so so so so much deliberation, talks from me, he finally decided to ask to stead, thank goodness..... Well, was kinda out of place, so i just ate a mcspicy( Yeah yeah i ate macs, was dead hungry/tired after training but canteen 1's closed)

Lead CG's apologetics session on labour day :) First role i had in this caregroup! Haha..... then we went on this ridiculous ride, on fel's car..... to J8, for dinner, and pick Kok Leng, and visit Yichuan, drive to Bugis, drop some CNC-players, drive to Fels house at Bukit Timah area(her hamsters are adorable man!!!), drive to jieying house, close to IMH(after driving two rounds around the area that is....), drive to drop Kok leng off at Srgn central, drive to my house.... then change decision, drive to monfort junior school pick rachelle from work.....(hilarious reverse driving for a segment! Josephine and me had a good laugh, at Fel's expense i suppose?), drive to orchard, swensen treat by Fel, drive to Bugis, pick CNC-players, and FINALLY, HOME, SWEET, HOME! My my, thats like 2 hours plus in the car? At least i got home unscathed..... Thanks Fel, Thank God!

2007-04-29T04:34:00.000+08:00

Post number 1,2,3!!! haha..... OMG And im freaking pissed off atm, took a cab from parklane to my house, 19 bucks.... and the issue wasn't the cab fare, it was the rate the driver was driving at..... First time i said "ke yi jia kuai yi dian ma?!".... 2nd time, after 20+ minutes, i said "Ni hui bu hui jia che de!" Seriously, the rate the driver was driving, it was better off taking a night rider and walk home, MUCH faster, plus it was 4 AM in the night? So few cars, my usual cab fare's usually under 11 bucks.... goodness..... was so tempted to ask him to stop halfway and stomp out of the cab. But well i didn't, im too kindhearted. All i did was slap the door uber hard and exchanged glares at the driver while walking to the lift lobby..... already wasted enough time, not worth a second more!

Back to blogging.... today was a tiring day! Went to sentosa early in the morning, some BA.Zest outing, played some games, forfeits, then headed to volleyball! Pretty fun i gotta say, for a noob like me... Played 3 games of 25 points, lost rather badly...

Then cabbed to nexus, late for helping out in prep for holy com... service....crapped loads with gracie..... dota..... shopping with fel at cineplex..... starbucks at heeren further up.... then got a lift to mr bean cafe at priscep road... chill a little, then that horrifying cab home.... and here am i!! Ahh.. urban groove tmr! :) Seems like i went to many many places today.....

2007-04-28T02:00:00.000+08:00

Finally got my tertiary ez-link card on thursday after school! Went to queue together as whole class haha.... my class 13 people only sia..... o well, nothing much happened on thursday, collect ez link card, school ended early, went to buy season ticket for my ez-link card! Transport more expensive.... but actually its cheaper for me, took less cabs nowadays :P Then went to Stgabs to get my O lvl cert, and year book, then spent like...a full hour catching up with various teachers? hahaa....

Then played pool with Walmond, and eat durian, and play lan... LOL!!! Cool dude, talked alot about individual's perception and how we take different things in life from different point of view.... and alot about simplicity! Shared loads about my new group to him and exchanged thoughts blah blah blah...... And yeah, im spending hella lot of money on pool, played like 2 hours? include drinks, its closing 15 bucks PER session of pool...... Past week 7 days.... 4 days play pool.... ah...

Friday, went home uber early to take a nap, then got changed and went to ECP!!!! Hella load of fun! Had lucky draw in which i had forfeits instead -.-" Dont wanna go into it, totally crap! I MIGHT post up some pictures if i get them into my hands! But o well, had fun doing some forfeits actually, rah rah rah...... then we started playing that "0,5,10,15,20" game and loser has to eat, or drink fizzy drinks..... Played fine, but some OGL drank like 7 cups of Fizzy drinks, and thats after a filling meal of bbq! Food was endless, ate tonns of otahs!

2007-04-26T00:50:00.000+08:00

Hoho, wednesday was an interesting day? Woke up late, cabbed to tutorials 30 minutes late and the tutorial ended 1 hour early. 30 minutes, what did we do? First time i step into the class and went to a seat at the corner.... the class made a big hoo-haaa.... and i so hated that feeling where everybody knew something i didn't know !!!! -.-"

So guess what, it was cause i chose to sit on the seat, that was supposed to start the ball rolling to introduce a little about ourself, and something that we're proud of. And apparently my class was all shy and nobody wanted to share first, or had any clue how to go about sharing. Suppose i wasn't really in a position to whip up some crappy excuse, so there i went ahead, doing something i probably would never do in secondary school.

Well i had no time to prepare, no clue what to share about, and first thing that came to my mind was, church. ministry. So, WACK! Rattled aimlessly about my church.... my ministries, namely deco and infocounter.... talked about what i do in them etc etc... then talked a little about my hobbies/school background yeah... Guess what? my li'l 5 minutes of gibberish set off a trend, people down the line started sharing about their religion -.-" And goodness how cool, a blessing from God? now i know who are the non-christians, their beliefs, and i know the christians, those in the same faith as me, those serving the same God. There're people who play the drums.... play the guitar..... head of ushering...... help out in videography etc.... Wow, yeah....

I slept ridiculously late... .and i woke up at a more ridiculous timing, which, in total, allowed me less than 2 hours of precious sleep? All for a good cause i guess.... school, as usual(and i didn't sleep at all during lessons!!!), caregroup, mac-ed at KAP..... wee, home at 12 after a game of pool!

And one more thing, i dont get it why my friend called me after her breakup. Spent like 2 hours of massive sms chatting, and talks on the phone at intervals.... couldn't meet for supper though..... I dont get it, im no "relations expert" or something, why look for me... unless im the boyfriend, then i might be able to help, but no, im an outsider!!! Calling me gives me that feeling of...."helplessness"? I so want to help as a friend, but i have no clue how to go about helping except for offering a listening ear, and giving a few consoling words... So please people! Go to the right person, for the right problems!!! :p

2007-04-24T01:42:00.000+08:00

I just got involved in the more ridiculous tongue twister that doesn't make sense grammatically, and.... theortically! Probably just Job getting high after the aftermath of my 1v1 dota game with him.... Such adverse effects from a crushing defeat, i never apprehended...

O well, im physically exhausted, on the verge of collapsing.... Today first day lifeguards!! Assesement was done in 5 minutes and we were seperated into 3 groups... non-swimmers, swimmers, BM(bronze medalion) lifeguards... im a swimmer, and training started, WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT. omg...... killer. First time swimming in ages, no warm up, no nothing, 10 freestyle, 10 use hand only, 10 use leg only, 10 right hand backstroke, 10 left hand backstroke, 1 cooldown breast stroke..... KILLER!!!

2007-04-22T04:07:00.000+08:00

Who Am I
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning star
Would choose to light the way, for my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean, vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am, I am yours... ...

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love, and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain, and calm the storm in me
Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are

Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are

I am Yours... ...

Whom shall I fear, whom shall I fear
Cause I am Yours, I am Yours

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I actually cried/teared after hearing this tonight... simple words... that mean so much... Not that i never heard this song before, rather i've heard it countless times... But just feeling emotional today, after a short msn conversation with somebody, that might have been nothing but a casual few lines/remarks from her but to me... somehow it meant so much! Perhaps those words ignited a flow of thoughts from down memory lane, that very few words that came from my ex-leader's mouth..."believe in people".... Thanks for believing in me, thanks alot, i mean it!

Time to be proactive :) I'll take the first step, if no one will. Time to pick up the pick, and break the ice. God! a revolutionary Christian, make me one! two weeks of uber slackness, guess i've rested enough. But i truly wonder what can i do to.... make... a... difference...

Now now, i suddenly had this random..... feeling earlier on. The horrid feeling of, regret, and and that... cant-take-it-lying-down feeling...THE rebellious feeling. The regret of being the last ones in my StGab cg. The one last batch that ended the legacy of being the once 40 unit size cg in stgab. What can i do? Who can i blame, after all the encouragement from my DL,UL,CL, shepherd and everybody, i still failed to leave being a cg in stgabs, i have MOVED ON, im in tertiary, i've failed. Cant take it lying down, so i made a decision on my own, to help repioneer a cgsize in stgabs! So what if im not in youth anymore, so what if im not in the school, be it a NP freshmen, or a SGSS student, their still lives! I seek to prove THE prophecy wrong, watch God work through me... use me....! My plans like this... do surveys outside school whenever free, SOW at my own time and pace, and when their eventually ready to come church/convert, connect them to the youth group overseeing SGSS, and continue till i see a CG size in SGSS there!

Wont say its anything near easy, obstacles will come, along with my commitments in cca, tertiary group stuff, school schedule etc... But i seek consistency, commitment, and a undying passion for what i set out to achieve! And when its achieved, i'll say... God, this is my gift to you, see my heart, it reaches out to You!

2007-04-22T02:21:00.000+08:00

Friday was cool! Haha ytd blog halfway dam tired then just cut :p

Friday.... well, went to catch The Fracture with my OGL! El Dorado 7! Well... actually it was like 4 OGL's and 3 freshies, all Stgabs! Went after school, rah rah ..... long journey to town, ate at pasta mania.... won a short punch with Hannah's bf :P Then headed home after chilling around town for an hour or so.... ! Haha.... r0cks man, Rado 7! Having a eldorado bbq coming friday! WOO!

Sat... yawnage, overslept, missed meeting... service, ate(except me) with my group at lemeridian...... went bugis, goodness know what i did there, oh yeah, ate desserts! Then head for pool, then home... LOST AGAIN! GOODNESS SAKE

2007-04-21T02:00:00.000+08:00

Woah! Been a interesting first week at school! Let me summarise my first week at NP!

Pontanged monday, overslept. Late on thurs/friday, cant wake up >.<

Joined Lifeguards! Probably joining another CCA, a form of martial art or scuba diving ;p

No homework at all so far, project teams about to be formed within a week, at least 3 projects going to start about the same time over a span of 8 weeks.... How fun can that be?

Today was cool, manage to get tennis for my sports and wellness, and my CATS class rocks :)

2007-04-18T00:00:00.001+08:00

Say..... today was a nice day :) Started off nicely with me waking up on time for the first day of MY school(2nd for others perhaps...) 4 Hrs of tutorials..... business communication and APA citations.... Gotta admit it was boring but i actually didnt feel sian cause i was watching movie, playing dota and using msn. All on my first time in lessons! People were dead friendly..... OG people i dont really mix with doing that cliche hi-bye "aquantaince" thing.... At least they remembered my name though! Mainly ate/hang around with Deon and Shawn! Deon stays in hougang and has the exact start timetable as me. How cool, travelling companion hello!~

Met XuePing and Vincent after lunch and went checking out CCA Fiesta.... Lifeguard corps as my core CCA for now i guess... Still considering a martialart or scuba diving as a 2nd.... Went to Vince's class and seriously its weird -.-" His block has many CCTVs all over, and his classroom is like..... a fishtank? Huge window panels along the walkway, where people walking past can look in clearly and see the students, like their goldfishes being watched! Ack.

Oh and this OGL of mine, Hannah.... got fooled by me haha! Wanted me to join her club(lifeguards) which i already signed up..... so i said if she can do that balance-on-wake-board thingie for 30 seconds, i'll sign up..... And she tried and failed horribly, making a spectacle of herself...

Ben&Jerry with Job and Xueping after that at RafflesCity..... Then watched The Reaping AGAIN with them plus ZeJun and Jolene at Cathay.... Then homesweethome!

Im gunna try sleeping early again today.... wish me best of luck!

2007-04-16T23:43:00.000+08:00

Okay, i've gotten over the trauma of me skipping school by watching The Parent Trap!! OMG..... very nice show! Main actor lindsay lohan, when she's TWELVE! Ack.... wish i had her eloquence and quickwittedness when i was 12! The shows......i cant mention any section of the show's that nice, cause there're too many nice parts! Ask me for it next time u see me with my laptop haha!

And.... tmr's school at 9..... Im supposed to wake up and go to school. I decided to drink a cup of martell before going to sleep at 1:30 sharp. Thank God im not an alcoholic bitch that doesn't get drowsy!

And do read shirley's past blog post, those youtube videos on hope peru.... :)

And im happy, i won finally won a DotA match after 3 loses. A B-E-A-utiful 12-1 victory for myself.

Cheers,
MoKky^

2007-04-16T20:15:00.000+08:00

somebody kill me >.<

First day of school, 1 PM - 2 PM short lecture, i overslept.

2007-04-15T23:18:00.000+08:00

Ahh.... Sat night, Xueyong and Josephlin stayed over my house... till 6 PM! Then went out with my mother till goodness knows what time, had to miss the NEE3 outing at Ti Amo due to that.... But seriously, havent really spent time with my mum for ages, busy with church... ministry..... school.....camp..... outings after outings. Feels kinda slack, just walking around following my mum aimlessly!

Talking about being slack.. i somehow feel more carefree nowadays. God have suddenly given me this period of rest :) The spartans shout AH HOO AH HOO AH HOO! I shout, hiatus hiatus hiatus! People say i changed significantly.... yeah rather true i guess. From 3 sheep to 0 sheep, from coreteam to member, waaa, time seem to be created out of nowhere! The natural reaction/obligation i have to do something when things aren't going right. I dont say something when things need correction. I dont organise events when everybody's slacking at home and not taking initiative! Now, im sitting at a back seat, while people do the job. A slackers role! Continue to observe, but i keep my observations to myself... hurmp... Wonder when will the break end, am i suppose to hope for it to end soon, or am i suppose to hope it'll continue like that for as long as possible.... Should i make the correct decision, or the best decision..... can i have the best of both worlds?

2007-04-14T02:53:00.000+08:00

Hahaha. I just laughed when somebody told me "I think your beginning to develop a pride issue". :) Yeah... it wasn't intended as a joke but its funny coming from that person. And no offence please, this blog post isn't going to be an inspiration from somebody insignificant in my life, but i already wanted to let these out during polycamp but i clean forgotten about it!

Pride...click if you dont understand what it means. Taking pride in yourself/what you do.... and pride being an issue. Simply a thin line differentiating them? Na... looks clear to me though. And please.... if you dont understand the difference, dont pinpoint others and label them based on your own shallow understanding... Simply making a fool out of your actions and word! When u have a reason to be prideful, why not. Dont come acting all sarcastic/humble so people dont have an edge over you....Dont deceive yourself either....its hyprocracy from my point of view, from my perspective, and i think its pathetic.... Respect yourself for God's sake and stop putting yourself down like your worthless. No one's going to respect you before you do! Your good, your good. Clear cut.

Of course theres this thing called pride ISSUE. When over time, you let this thing called "pride" take control over your actions/speech. When "pride" clouds your senses and causes you to neglect the origin, the reason, the person, who helped you along the way to bring about the end result. When the world starts revolting around you and nothing seems to be able to touch your innerman... Scary when this happens cause even when people tell you, it doesn't get into your clogged up head anymore.... when you seem to forget that there's always someone better than you in what you do, when you forget you wouldn't have been here if not for that special someone!

yup yup yup! Ah relieved..... :o..... From a blibical point of view its still the same, we have a God, bigger than the universe behind us, covering our weaknesses with his strengths, a God that can do immeasurably more than we can ever imagine... So, you, a creation of this awesome God... Live it like how your made man!

"
To the One who made us, the One who saved us,

I will boast in the Lord my God
I will boast in the One who's worthy
I will boast in the Lord my God
I will boast in the One who's worthy, He's worthy!
"

2007-04-14T02:41:00.000+08:00

Thursday was UCG at esplande! Games/worship/holycom, thats it, ended under an hour! Gee, we just *snap*-ed home after a meal at makansutra.... how boring! Didn't want to go home but was left choiceless when people started leaving 1 by 1....

Friday, morning call by Ze Jun and reached school at ..... 10? Outreach, telematch cancelled due to rain so i popped over to NE PM! Lol, felt like home, temporial bliss..... That long long long worship we had standing, followed by Gideon's prayers~! After that was kinda a mess... went to buy necklace with chenxiang, then visit xueping at forums, then visit grace at apple@wheelock..... practically going all over -.-" Then back to srgn for durian, then a game of pool! Pool was great, played punch with soem strangers, free 1 hr pool! :) 9 games in total. Home by 1

And gee.... my timetable really sucks... mon-thurs start 9 AM, friday start 8 AM... Im so dead. Early start time -> wake up early -> i cant -> late for school -> late more than 20% -> debarment -> DISASTER!

And yeah.. did more msn-cleaning up... Added loads of new NP people, from my OGLs, to my OG people.... and i did alot alot more serious deleting of contacts -.-" Even those always online but i dont talk to, heck.... dont like a long long list of eyesores....

2007-04-12T02:54:00.000+08:00

Ah, so tired. BaOC camp past 2 days, and tmr. Really tiring..... Here's a breakdown of what i've been doing!

Monday was kinda screwed up, all my plans somehow got disrupted and turned out i watched a movie at vivo with sunny and shaun..... then visit zijie house... then zijie xueping and vincent stayed over my house!

Tues/weds/thurs camp! Im in "Dazzling El Dorado" and short for it is... Rado! Haha, kinda like the cheers they have, got a few relatively.... new ones! Ice breaker.... magnum force and latin dance performance.... talks talks talks.... got it all. Pretty well organised i suppose, enjoyed myself though its tiring....

2007-04-08T05:13:00.000+08:00

Lets just say XueYong's knocked out on my bed and i just watched finish Click. Easter service was great, could have been better with a converted visitor and if i didn't have to cab down after waking up at 5:20 but o well. After service went PS eat... then cuppage for lan, then selegie for tauhuay...finally home at around.... 1. Yeh yeah i know the walking route doesn't make sense but i've been walking ALOT around town nowadays....

Say.... sermon.... didn't take down notes this time round, decided to just pay attention and listen, rather than scribble some points down on paper that i probably wouldn't ever read in future. Seriously speaking.... not sure about others, but i hardly read through my sermon notes, unless i find a need, like my sheep didn't attend service.... or playing a part in sermon D during cg. Its like even if i take the effort now to flip through my past notes.... i doubt i'll learn much. A li'l question. What did you learn from the sermon last month? *flips notebook* reads * answers question* Gah, i dont want what they taught, what YOU learnt! People Say humans are forgetful by nature thats why we write down.... so that we wont forget what we learn..... so that we wont sleep during sermon.... I've a pride issue i know "too much" that I dont wanna write..... Naaaah~! Sermons regurgitate. The essense of those sermons do at least... you probably heard the same thing over and over again so many times phrased in myriads of manners, but it eventually still boils down to.... what are you going to apply? What are you going to DO? How are you going to lead your life from there on? Not like God's going to show favour on those who painstakingly wrote long detailed legible notes -.-" I'd just like to be real to myself and do whats.... beneficial? Stop pleasing man, point taken i hope.

In fact i actually remember what was said during sermon(considering i have short term memory....) when i usually dont by this timing on previous saturdays.... And because I didn't have my hands busy writing, I was about to think through and like hey yeah.... in certain scenerios, why do I feel like the pharisee, and so-and-so feels like the woman who committed adultery. Just that Jesus was lacking in the picture to say that sentence that would make me go *silence*..... Amplifying others weaknesses doesn't make mine any smaller, perhaps i was being judgemental then, but doesn't really matter, since the most difference i can possibly make is just, a mere "sorry"? More importantly, it wont happen AgAiN :)

Some food for thought, bored my readers i suppose, just what was on my mind when i flipped through my dilapidated sermon notebook... Friday... went to MAN(Music appreciation night by Tertiary NS guys) at 5:30. Actually didn't want to go but since they needed my laptop... and Felicia's driving, right to my lift.... so why not. Got changed, and hopped on~! Watched eragon and dreamship(CRAP show.... ) Was ok, then went to eat tauhuay, then play pool at paradiz centre..... Took a bus home~! Reached home at 1+..

And yeah.... been playing Command and Conquer 3:Tiberian Wars at home haha... Downloaded it... Darn fun, though its just campaign so far! Very hard, seriously speaking, from a "strategy gamer" like me, its hard... but i'll complete the campaign without cheating! hellya~! haha. I dont see why some people(no offence to anyone in particular) get so happy when they played some game and won by cheating. Were they cheating themselves rather? LOL.... or do you call that easily-contented.

Been over a week since i've been in my new CG NP1.... Dont ask me why, but it somehow still feels.... weird? I dont know whats weird, but its just weird haha! Thanks to some people like fel/xueping/vince that made the new group... more "home" to me? Shucks, its 6 AM. I suddenly realised that my NP camp starts on the 10, which is say, 2 days time? And speaking of camp, it means sleeping early, and waking up early, which is say MIIV. Mission impossible IV...! Its 6 AM, and i dont feel tired one bit.... DIEEE... have to start adjusting my bioclock for poly life..... That.... tormentful process of waking up after hearing the alarm clock, alarm me when i was sleeping, and dragging myself so school at the hour i usually go to sleep. OR, would poly life/people be so so attractive that i'll spring out of bed at the sound of the alarmclock and be so alert anticpating to go to school to meet people!

Well, thats all for now peeps.... time to catch another movie before my parents wake up, Smokin' Aces or Because i Said So.... Hurmp..... Have to watch and delete my movies, my HDD got full for the first time in my history of using my desktop. Downloaded like 40 GB of content in a short span of 1 week. Was actually putting my new internet speed to test... Mum got this "mio" plan thing from singtel that incorporates the hp line, house line and internet line into ONE box. Yeah, works fine, works fast! :)

2007-04-06T03:42:00.000+08:00

Thursday i didn't sleep a wink at all....did decor till 12...... Early morning(it'll be friday by then) went out with my mother at around... 8 to visit grandma at Mt Veron Columbaries. Had a super super big quarrel. Its like if i go, quarel. Dont go, quarel. So i went... She's a Christian for 4+ years btw... and she went, jossticks/incense/paper money and all... I got serious pissed and started using logic, reasoning, biblical truths. Doesn't work. Eventually this led to the 2nd quarel of the day, where i walked out of the conversation (of my aunt/cousin etc) and went somewhere to chill... 30 minutes later... phone call from mum, ignored, just walked back to the place.

Guess what was happening? My mum was quarreling with HER SISTERS, and her nephews now. Cant believe my eyes, or rather ears... The way she talk, obviously she was in the wrong.... Cannot stand, totally BULLSHIT.... sarcasim.... Goodness, blood sisters..... what the heck's going on, i had no idea.... Listened to their bullshit for a moment, till i lost my cool. I literally said "what the f***" is going on here!" that wasn't me.... i never used that word for ages, but i just lost it. After a little silence.... walked away and tried finding my way out -.-" Got lost, asked the cleaner, found my way out, cabbed to NP to meet GRACE WONG! I was early. Submitted my forms, asked some question, watched her eat chicken culet which she didn't know how to cut so i helped her cut. Saw Yingzhi, gwen, shuzhen eating(SIM invaders!)... Cabbed to wheelock, visited Xueping working, walked all over town waiting for people to come and follow Grace shop(she looked weird in the dress she tried!! No pics taken though :( ) Went to buy pam's HOT PINK ipod, walk walk, then surprise for pam! Then chill around town, no clue what we doing..... But happy birthday i hope... .;p Chilled at mc-cafe, then went to cg at nexus, then played pool, then ate subway, then headed home at 12!

Thursday woke up at say.... 2? Went to watch movie (23!!! ) with Shaun... Nice show man... Numbers 32:23! Lol... Shaun got a shock when the dead body dropped! Lol.. he shocked me with his reaction... Then we, from LIDO, walked to TAUHUAY. Breakthrough Shaun, congratz.... Then i ate... Then walk back to Nexus for decor, do till around 1, cabbed home after walking to bustop 147 to check bus timing :( And tada... now im here, was entertaining my cousin JEAN earlier on..... its 5! yawnage, boring post, im bored.

2007-04-03T04:18:00.000+08:00

MoKky^! Haha... finally got my baptism photos through e-hope... Monday... early morning went to eat breakfast with my mother... Slept around 11.... Then woke up in the afternoon around 3+ to meet my financial doctor.... arranged by my mother... Basically, i spend 2 hours listening to this auntie i dont know yak-yak-yak-yak, and all i did was to sign some documents i dont really care much about... And woke up a little from fantasyland too... Saw the amount my mother was channeling to AIA under my name, investments..insurance.... blah blah blah, i was like woah, thats alot.... Shows how much my mum cares about my future....*toucheeed* haha.... im indebt.... Ate dinner, then cabbed to Josephine's house for meeting...

New Shepherd! Vincent Chin :) Talented guitarist, thats all i know about him so far.... We're quite alike in certain ways.... rather quiet, plays pool... plus he stays in outram park haha, alot of good food there! Wonder how's my first shepherding gunna be like.... And theres like so so many activities in my new group, i practically have less than half the week left empty......

Cabbed to nexus, youth decor... helped a little......

Cabbed home... supposed to play pool but owell...

Just had a li'l chat with my EX sheep zi jie haha.... kns.... im spending too much! Thats the main thing i actually remembered... haha.. Yeah, i think im spending too much, but i practically have zero in my bank now... Gave to breakthrough pledge, but i didn't fulfil my pledge, or rather, CANT.... :( Rah! He told me to save.... and i thought, yeah! time to save, cause i want to spend ;p LOL, got some to-buy things on my list.....

Oh yeah... and i downloaded and watched 300 already haha.... pretty nice show, not the cliche common endings where the 300 gets saved eventually by some aid...... And DAMN NICE strategy! Truely the phalanx formation presented to its best haha.... inpenetratable formation.... And the part where the "arrows block out the sun" pretty cool.... Its like so cool, remember when i younger always read those books about spartan/greek/athenien/viking warfare... equipment, formations, culture etc etc.... I think its damn cool, unlike modern warfare, finishes in seconds.... 300 shows superior fighting capablities, quality>quantity....

Ah.... time to sleep, its 6 AM...

2007-04-02T07:41:00.000+08:00

Watched Blood Diamond at home yesterday.... nice show, and clearly shows somethings the author intended to say. Dont take things the things we have on hand for granted... for it might have came, at the expense of others! haha....

Yeah.... and i also did some MASS clearing, after tidying up my blog stuff, realise my msn contact list is even crappier. I practically cut my contacts into half... Those that stopped coming online... those i blocked(which i have no intention to unblock)..... those that i dont talk to..... Hopefully i dont regret doing this though... my contact list looks so pathatically short now, but its all people that i talk with haa

My first service on saturday... mm... it FELT different, but nothing really very different... just the annoucements part haha.... But i dunno why, something's changed... Mmmmm but i love the timing! 5:45.... i probably wont be late for service anymore! Mmm.... chill at S11..... Then went California Kitchen Pizzaria with Stephen Sunny and Glen..... Then Stephen and Chenxiang came my house stayover...

My new CG! From left: Ming Kuang, Zhi Ge, Xue Ping, (other peep), Zi Jie, MOKKY!, Rui Hao and Felicia.

Ai.. dont feel like typing much, so monday summaried, Help out some tert decor at srgn(josephine's house), pool at Q-bistro with wally AGAIN, stayover zijie house mahjong+movie, homesweethome.

2007-03-31T06:16:00.000+08:00

Haha... Friday woke up around 1 PM. Got really really pissed off by some young kid. For the 2nd time, dont take me for a three-year-old kid please. You'll only end up making a total fool out of yourself. Did some decor at home... then wrote some bdae cards and wrap gifts.

Went early for decor to find the door locked... So went to meet Nicholas and Desmond for dinner! Ate that chicken wing rice at B1 that i havent ate for ages... nice! :) Or perhaps i was just hungry. Did decor... My my.... Mabel and me take down the butterfly banner and put up that breakthrough banner on the right. Yeah, just the two of us. Wonderful eh? usually it takes 3-4 people, and normally 2 guys at least. Did decor till 10+. It sure feels great to have experience on hand. Its like everything's easy to do in decor now. No headache, no ahhhh *pulls hair out* in frustration. Everything is just, snap snap, i know how, i show you, this that this that. But might be going adults decor soon though :) Redid the breakthrough pledge balls.... Put up the Y.... Helped Yiyou with her school project photography, yeah.

After that went to searangoon to meet wally to eat. Initially was just eat. But we both felt like playing pool! haha... So Q-bistro it was, once again.... going there really often man! Saw Valeria(church keyboardist) and Regan there. Played pool, drank cappucino(sux -.-" I forgot to say ICED) I think Walmond really changed ALOT. From the time we played dota/cs together at lemeridian's old lanshop that now closed down... to... the Walmond i know now...

First Tertiary Service tmr! :) :) :) Enjoying Life :) :) :) Loving Life :) :) :)

2007-03-30T02:17:00.000+08:00

Okay, i just woke up from my deep 5 hour slumber. Feels greeeat~

Went over to NP to get my laptop on tuesday with my mother. Was supposed to "catch" Grace cause she was also in NP buying... but her hp card ran out, and we simply.... lost connection totally so we didn't meet up! -.-" Got acer travelmate 3044~ cool, cool, cool. Everything's according to my preference except for the darn battery... it runs out so fast, 3 hours and it'll start complaining.... 3 hours not sufficient for me man! O well.... means i gotta bring my charger around :( Extra weight when i supposedly got the lightest laptop possible to give my shoulders a little "off" for the next 3 years im going to carry it. O well... happy-me went home and started installing all the programs i use

Wednesday, met Grace to just... *blanks out*....... ok i forgot what did we do, but after meeting Grace i went to S11 to meet the tertiary campers, and my new CG! It sure was darn scary.... i went there, everybody, my entire CG and some other strangers all over... already know my name(gary AND mokky), my course i got into, and my "wrong" age that was written on my IC..... Goodness, its like i dont know everybody, and everybody knows me.... Not fair man, i dont get to introduce myself!

O well, its first time in this....tertiary atmosphere, but it sure felt great. So many familiar faces all over from my past cg, just walking to table to table, its like i know people from ALL the groups... Then so many OLD faces, really heartwarming and gratifying to see them once again. People like Joel Jiashen Nicko Samual Garmeng.... Felt great :) Then they ate..... watched them eat, and i kinda regretted cause that eventually meant, i didn't eat for a continuous span of more than 36 hours. Met new faces.... my CL Felicia, XuePing, Josephine, etc etc.... Went nexus for some pnw+teaching... absorbed nothing, was there more for the meeting the people, not the camp.

O and there was this "amazing race" kinda thing, when we competed in groups of 2-4, which campus can collect the most number of responsive contacts to invite for easter service, along orchard road. Yeah.... outreaching at night, in town, 10+ PM. COOLNESS. Little hard for me to blend at first, got im adaptable so i got the hang quick :) People already "high" after 3 days of camp, i just came. Really a breakthrough, a literally.... CHIONG for me.... my group of 4, had 7 responsive contacts, 7 authetic hp numbers, in just, TWENTY MINUTES. Guess what, something even more divine. Out of the 7 contacts, three are from NP! Omg... whats the probability of getting 3/7 NP contacts, in the middle of the night, along orchard road? In 20 minutes? Got to know Felicia more through this, her charactor and stuff when i see her approach/talk to strangers. NP is going to starburst, i can sense it... With the tranfers coming in.

An hour plus bus ride to the ooloo ooloo camp christine.... facility-less.... Just a little out-of-the-world place to have a camp i suppose. Something away from the worldly stuff. Only Xue Ping from my CG stayed over.... Well, we all didn't actually sleep, except Xue Ping that apparently kept trying to attack my in her dreams.... Job can vouch for me! And she's got a darn good memory.... She actually remembered my bdae, my year of birth, and my chinese name, after a few hours after she had a GLANCE at my IC.....At night... did night walk in the super super dark path.... played indian poker.... did loads. Mixed around with many people, more from my unit... Like candice, jolene, zejun, candicethe2nd, ++++

Lasted till morning then we took the coach to outram park. Ate at the temp market there... And know soemthing? i havent eaten ANTHING(except for the little "sample" bread felicia gave me to try) for the past THIRTY SIX HOURS. yeah..... my stomache was literally crying out loud, IM HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY! Ya i ate with Zi jie Rui Hao Ze jun and Xue Ping(Thank goodness i remember their names this time round). Then went to pay my school fees, then went home. Xue Ping went home rather, and Ze jun and the other 2 guys came to visit my house haha... So "on" please? its like i only know Ze Jun for less than 24 hours, and she was probably tired after 4d3n camp which didn't include much sleep haha.... And SOMEBODY please remind me i have a volly ball to bring on saturday, cause i'll forget. Definitely will forget.

And so cool! My CL Felicia actually drives... and she sleeps late.. and she's a regular at chomp chomp :) Great nights to come in future, certainly! Supper :) SUPPER:) Supposed to have chomp chomp supper tonight but due to certain circumstances, postphoned haha....

Thats the end of my short li'l 1day 1 night camp i suppose? haha. To summarise, i like it? Night life, great people. Compared to youth, theres no such thing like inter gender barriers, inter cg barriers etc. And theres not much of a .... distance between leaders and the group. They just all mix normally, everybody's proactive and spontanous! Being a CL doesn't make a difference, they dont really get bothered by who's what! Just love your God, simply said. Like i didn't know ZeJun was a CL of the other NP group untill the very very last hour she was leaving my house lol.... Youth like we dont even know our other-caregroup people thats in our unit.... But during the camp, practically everybody, talks to everybody. People dont clique amongst schools/caregroups... They just mix naturally. Neither do they make a big fuss just cause one's a sister and one's a brother.... Like early early early in the moring, some brother can just walk over, a total stranger, just "yo, not sleepinG? What you doing? Hi my name's so-and-so.."

Haha... just my... FIRST impression on tertiary, a good first impression i gotta say, short duration. Youth decor tmr! :p Going back to sleep.... Nobody's online, everybody's suffering from the aftermath of camp.... or else those that got school went to slp already :(

Job 8: 7 "Your beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will your future be."

MoKky^ scribbing :)

2007-03-27T02:50:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm.... GOODNESS, i kanna con by my mother on monday! haha.... I thought i was going for some wedding at Raffles Town Club..... It turned out to be some company award presentation ceremony at Raffles City Convention Centre... I tell you... it was the grandest "social" function i ever attended man... how i wish one day i could be the organiser of such large scale events. Yeah... i was way underdressed.... but o well, im pretty young among the aunties and uncles so pardon me... Everything there was great, except... company! if only i went there, sat around a table of close knited friends... what a event it'd be.... This time, i stoned there alone, just observing.... Okay here's a breakdown of events!~

Started out with a li'l speech by Lee Hsien Yang...Interesting sense of humor i'd say.... and presentation ceremony, followed by a song presentation by some girl... OMG, powerful vocals man, then ended that song with pyrotechnics(not those at just follow law!)... really mini-scale fireworks infront.... fire blazes, omg, uber coolness, sumore im at a front table.... super loud. Then came the FOOD! 10-course meal, and i particularly loved the cold dish.... drunken chicken... food was absolutely fabulous.... even though i missed out 2 seafood dishes, dead full by the end of the course.... amidst beer/cocktails, with my table served by this hot girl! o.O Perhaps i was too bored i over-observed hehe! And the service was great.... not rushed, every dish they'll change utensils and serve every dish onto individual plates.... The meal took around 2 hours +, and throughout there were various live bands playing, pleasing-to-the-ear oldies like sway.. to newer songs like james blunt's beautiful... and got people play guitar by themselves and sing....

Everything was set, except real people :( Caught a lift home from someone.... But along the way Mr Walmond called and asked for pool, perfect.... real people.... Popped over to Q-bistro, my latest fav hangout place and played pool. Tried out another new drink.... and the boss there was really friendly to me.... remembered my name by now, and he was eating some of their house snacks, offered loads to me.... And then took out some new products they intend to sell in their shop to let me...."sample".... those imported icecream chocolate eclairs ROCKS! Ate like 4.. Asked for my opinion how much to sell.... etc etc etc... Got members discount apparently... nice boss really, suppose to spend S$80.00 in a SINGLE receipt in order to apply for members... O well, i'll be going there often in future, maybe i'll buy a chivas regal to apply! Cant possibly spend 80 on pool table rates -.-"....Played for close to 2 hours, then cabbed home....

And yeah, Walmond was in a good mood or something today, taught me loads. Improved my breaking technique, honed my placing skills, taught me alot of pool tips along the way, cue positioning.... snooking....just sharpening my pool skills! Getting better at it... really better....

Yeah... laptop tmr....

2007-03-26T01:17:00.000+08:00

Mmmm! Been an eventful, memoriable past 2 days :)

Saturday! Met up with Gracie in the morning, went nexus together~ hurmp! Played 2 rounds of pool, did some info counter stuff, and headed for meeting really late~ Meeting was.... good i'd say? I learnt nothing new, but what Shirl's and Dennis said...it re-confirmed my decision/mindset was already present before i came. To just embrace the new group courageously? Dont compare, its two totally different culture, two totally different fields. Its like comparing a guy's height, with another guy's weight.... Beyond comparison! No big deal, i'd say.... just different perspective, different maturity, things that used to be stumbling, are considered, normal. And lastly, my name is MoKky^! haha, that made a whole lotta difference.

Service... was doing duty outside, DanielTarigan made trouble... not big enough to trouble me... haha, small insignificant fry in my eye that needs nothing but self-respect. And wow.. last week's service must have made an impact! People are tithing like.... woah~ $$$$.... Then after service, photo taking session! haha.... took some photos with NED/NEE peeps!

haha, compliments of Evona! Stephen doesn't wish to send me photos, as usual -.-" And, i'll be nice and say, those 2 girls, aren't freaky monsters or anything... just wasn't aware i kept the distance! haha. Ate at parkway thai after that, had meeting, serious dont remember what was taught ^^ After that we went to cine pastamania to chill, then headed for stephen's house~! For stayover~!

Stayover was great... Big thanks to Desmond and Yongkang! The worship was really... great, i cried. Nothing about parting, but its about thanksgiving, just so happy thinking of the past 8 months i spent with the people.... Beautiful memories, really joy of tears from thankgiving... Then sharing part... Somebody sure surprised me.... We came a long way.... a really long way... and we have a longer way ahead of us! People cried.... i guess, it was a great night, to end things off, great memories.... And yeah, went cycling at 6 AM :P

Okay... i took an hour to type this amidst super super multi tasking! haha.... 1:30 now... time to sleep, tmr going to Zi Jie's work place, talking to his dad... God Bless me >.<>

2007-03-23T02:39:00.000+08:00

Ack~! Wednesday night slept really late.... played loads of crap wc3 maps with josephine! haha..... Thursday woke up at 2+, planned to watch music and lyrics with Grace.. , saw Stephen along the way, dragged him along LOL! Didn't really expect him to come but, *score* Then Chen Xiang also unexpectedly came... goodness, what kinda school starts at 7+.... Show was alrite, proper ending, just a little too short perhaps? Haha.. Grace left, Chenxiang left for school,,,, Stephen came my house, ate dinner.... yeah, ok, today seems so short...

I feel like fishing suddenly! Ack....
Tmr going fishing with Joseph lin and co. Seriously dont think i can wake up, but i seriously hope i can wake up...

2007-03-22T02:54:00.000+08:00

Today...today....today...... Went running! IN THE MORNING, 2nd time in my life, out of my own freewill that is, i ran when the sun was up...Was with Rui Hao and Grace.... Ran 3 laps, then tried, and tried, and tried to do pullups..... I did 0. SiansatioN~! Then.... serious i dunno what we did after that... but we roamed around ToaPayoh for hours! Alvin and Chenxiang joined us halfway... O yeah, i cut hair at kimage, and took passport photos.... Man, the hairwash was...shuang, especially on such a hot scorching day.

Aiiiii~! Finally got loads more letters from NP! Wow man... so many camps... Yeah, decided to just go for everything! Some details.... so somebody might remind me i have something on on that date, in case i forget -.-"

sports camp...1-4 april
NPSU Camp, 2-5april....
Orientation camp.... 10-13 april
CCA fiesta....... 16-18 april
HPSU hopnite....... 20 april

K, im gunna be busy busy busy...! And woo!~! just did some laptop research, really wondering what to buy..... NP offers 4 brands.... Mac, Acer, Lenova, and Fujitsu...... Ok cancel out Mac, its crap. (sorry to design students!) ..... no clue what to buy, but so far.. from the brochures given, i think im going for acer's travelmate 3044WTMi..... except for its extra minature tiny screen..... Its ubercool, fits everything i want, specs enough to run 4 dota programs laglessly..... and its only 1.5kg !!! Lightest laptop for its specs!

haha..... ok, tmr watching movie~! Nitez, i slept by 4.. improvement.!

Okay... this the best picture i can get -.-" Not the perfect photography skills capable of taking stable pictures..... But it'll do! MOKKY~~ ~ Oh.... thats my mum, bro, and his girlfriend btw...

2007-03-21T03:25:00.000+08:00

Tuesday~! Early morning went to wally house to meet him~! wow... his room = total mess... haha, not really surprising though =X Went swimming at Chuan park with him haha..... Got things to say, but decided not to cause he visits my blog on blue moons! haha... Now i know why... the reason.... OOPS.

yeah.. went to play pool at Q-bistro with him after that... Wasn't opened but a li'l chat with the man and he allowed us to play before the opening hour haha... It opens at 5, but we played at 1+.... played darn long... 3 hours or something? Recommend that place man! Cheap, good ambience, good equipment, and they sell alcoholic drinks! Love songs they play.... really my-type? haha, bose sound system sumore.... Gunna be a heavy lost if they do close down, appears that they really paid a big sum into doing the place up! I'll be going back there sometime soon.

Had cg. LAST CG.... :( And i didn't get taupoked! My record remains clean! hah, no taupok on me yet, and NEVER!

played pool again... then home.... This round of pool sucks though, i think my pool skills, varies with the people i play with... Play with pro, become pro... play with *ehem*, my skills deprove significantly...

oh... and i been counting the people i know in NP's business school so far... wow, really alot.... at least 30 i know already from NP's business school :) :) :) :)

2007-03-20T03:40:00.000+08:00

Lol so lame... Today rather slack day... read loads of channelnewsasia.com .... Read my book... Practise my kata(karate's cheographed movement) after a long long while... somehow i still manage to remember the moves haha, can do eye-closed... Tried doing situps and realised i can no longer do situps like in the past... AND, i cant wait for term to start... Swimming tmr morning~! Hope i can wake up!!!

2007-03-19T04:55:00.000+08:00

I actually typed one whole huge long paragraph of words.... venting my frustrations, anger, going (%*^#!)%!#(*$&$#%*&!#)(#!^$!%*!#%... then decided to just cancel them in a second.. I felt like a fool... really dumb... but omg....... what is this...

Okay im boreed to death... nobody seems to be online at this hour... so i took the test everyone's been taking last time... was never bothered to but i finally found the reason! lol... Universal Genius.... that didn't ace my Amaths :( Sadded... haha... I'd rather be awarded a Universal Idiot that get A1 for amaths! ahhh

O well... today(sunday that is...), woke up and went to Toa Payoh to company Pamela...Darn hot... i mean the weather... queue queue queue queue queue -.-" Visited a friend who lives in TPY.... went home...

2007-03-18T00:33:00.000+08:00

haha.. just completed my personality test once again!

Melancholy: 25%
Phlegmatic: 20%
Sanguine: 18%
Choleric: 38%

Mel maintain... choleric up.... phleg and san down... Haha

Right.... so, the chalet's over. Seriously if u ask me, why did i organise it... I would say, its the rebellious side in me, that refused, to bent my principles. I look down on people who dont say, what they do. Consistancy. Of course i differentiate when people's joking and serious.... But when people say something, and dont do it, it really makes whatever they say in future.... weigh less to me? Even if in future its something logical, bibical, and very impactful. The past memory i have of the person would probably blind me and just take it as bullshit. And... i myself, do what i expect of others, i took initiative to plan a final chalet outing, as i volunteered tat day at RC. Plus... i fulfilled a few hidden agendas, that perhaps only people who have, sight beyond sight? Will know what my agendas are haha....

One part of the chalet.... the waiting for sunrise part... Simply rocks. Thought of the past, when i always went to the beach at dawn with close friends.... Wow.... dont really need to say anything. Just, slow down, take time to adore God's beautiful creation? Simply, nature at its best. Even though i didn't see the sun-rise part, the air, the sea, sights, its just that relaxing peaceful serenity that i like. Wonderful way to start the day!

I have many things i feel liek doing.... Fishing, watch movieSSS, cycling, running, swimming, tennis, kayaking, bowling. Sigh... anybody? Do ask me out! haha

2007-03-14T03:54:00.000+08:00

Yeah, im blogging, as mokky now :) Thanks for all the people who came to YWCA(or YMCA for a start) to witness my baptism! Haha, just seeing me physically dip into the water and out, gotta travel all the way there/back, wait so long.... really thanks man~! Oh yeah and so weird, i did decor for me own baptism! hoho, but fun nevertheless, playing with balloons!~! Many people ask me why i choose MoKky^ as my baptism name... Truth is, the sole reason is cause im accustomed to it, AND, mokky's a unique name? The bible charactors name are all overused and so common, so i decided on mokky... A unique name, for a individual created by God :) :) :) Makes me more mokky.

Oh.... *touched* btw.... I received 3 gifts? from my ex-caregroup? Dont ask me how they got wind that im getting baptised, but i received 3 gifts/cards from my ex-cg members including the cl... Wow.... its been 3+ years... Time flies... I feel so lucky to have started out my walk in trinity, where i made life-long friends. Really beyond words i guess... Currently circumstances, causes me to cherish old friends even more.

Went to IT show to get my ram card after that.. no time to scout for subwoofer or just to update myself on the latest laptop and their capabilities... Took ONE HOUR to queue and get my ram card kewl... Took 107 home, and.... on the bus, i saw some thing happen. There was a hp left behind by an adult, a nokia hp(dunno model but its that... dam expensive but functionless phone i talked about before) and 3 young kids(around pri 6) was opposite it and saw it AFTER me. Yeah i was too lazy to take the phone and do anything with it, was on the verge of sleeping but i can still observe people! Yeah, three kids.... guess what happened? One kid walked over and immediately passed it over to the driver.... Then the 2 other kept telling him "waste sia.. that phone good! Alot of money... Stupid sia you, if it was me i'll keep for myself etc etc etc". Man. That kid is brave, and has self-respect i must say, to ignore peer pressure at that age, and not to fall into materialistic gains? Woah~! A bright future awaits...

Went home, excited to "thriple" my ram so i put my card in and started using the com! Woo, feels so much more... shuang to play stuff on my com now that it runs much more faster now! Even though i encounted some technical problems.. solved it by myself!

Monday!

Had CTM, talked, debated, good ending for me :) Went running after that with Pamela Stephen Joseph Lin... Omg, i "died" after 5 laps, when the last time i happily completed 4km!! Ack, super deprove! After that played pool at grassroot... then dinner at hougang.... Then lin stayover my house.... Yup yup

Tuesday~! decor was the highlight... man, metamorphsis decor rocks bigtime... Those going, enjoy! A feast for your eyes. Really, decor moving from glory to glory... With such a CRAZY low budget, we managed to get those decorations up... applaud us please! Much time and effort gone into what people see for those short durations in nexus.... But its all worth it! Fun time painting haha, Laughs , laughs... and more laughs! Dinner with sunny and stephen, home, planning chalet.

Sucks. Dont ask me why but the phlegmatic side of me, suddenly seemed to have resurfaced for a short period. I dont like phlegmatic people, but i cant help it. I just felt.... just planning a chalet for grads, i created so much trouble for myself. How wonderful if i didn't lay a hand, no need any chalet, we just end off like that *snap*, i can have so much more time to spend with my classmates and other social circles? People undecisive... people give me those crappy crappy answers, people come at whim, choosing time and stuff, people come for certain reasons.... GOODNESS! I seem to have made poor friends that i cant rely on in future.... their not coming because of ME, their friendship with me, but rather, other reasons.. I cherish friends, really cherish, especially those that will just say yes without asking, when i say, can we meet? Or, wanna have supper? Why bother, i asked myself... Why waste time, who'd REALLY appreciate? Dont see any benefit for myself... if i wanna i can easily organise for those i enjoy going out with, smaller clique, and stuff, why for so many ppl? Not like i'll enjoy myself loads or what.... Ai, no meaning behind this paragraph... just to let it out else i'll have less sleep thinking!

Ai, but already started, so i'll finish what i started. Last one. Yeah, moving on soon, so let this be my last contribution i guess. Im that happy-go-lucky guy but im not exactly, emotionless... About moving to tertiery... i must say im afraid, of losing friends. I CHERISH my friends, i repeat. Dont want to lose friends, that i studied, spent time, did life together with for 8 months to just... POP, gone like that? Friendship... relationship... thats why God created man. And thats also why humans are happy. Friendships! Yeah, im willing to die for my friends. But most of the time, i seem to get the feeling that the friendship isn't mutual... I dont see efforts from the other party in maintaining the friendship most of the time... Sucks, but doesn't matter, its beyond my control anyway.

but still.... the main thing for me now is... POLY~! woo, i have my own plans and decisions already made. Its now just..... WAIT WAIT WAIT.. .argh! haha

2007-03-11T03:24:00.000+08:00

Hoho~! Still basking in my holidays in anticpation of school start... ahhhh~! Last friday i went Joo Chiat church office to help print some stuff.... then went PM, left a little earlier to cab home with stephen... Dun wanna go into details, meaningless, im not writing a detailed time schedule on my blog haha!

Before PM... i was early, really early, like an hour earlier? Just went into the hall, sat down, watched them practise, everything was like, rush rush, just for a PM, took out a book, read a little, kept observing people... Then i thought about my own life, i was like veh veh veh happy for no reason? Cause its a "prayer" meet, but i couldn't find any specific thing to pray for.. Everything in my life's going rather, smoothly, i have no needs unmet, i have no obstacles in my family, studies, financial, etc... Im just one happy average-joe contented and smiling haha~! Its a good thing, but then again, what am i doing here?! Yeah, as usual, i just get the answer from myself. I came, without any agenda, i came, without any purpose, request, wants, needs etc. I came solely, to praise, worship, cause, its my God. The reason, is Him, not me! Yippee, became happier! Haha, i sound so easily-contented.... o well

And another thing, really encouraged by JAMES KANG! haha, he only came to the PM for 30 minutes and he had to leave... but i gotta say, his heart was more at the prayermeet than many others.... He was at RC(searangoon), he took a long 45min journey to marine parade, knowing he had to leave at 8, and the programme starts at 7:30. He lives at woodlands, which is probably close to 90min+ journey home. Any logical reasoning, go straight home after RC. It doesn't make sense to travel for 2.5hour, for a 30 minute PM. Thats not all... he had PE in the morning(2.4km), and hockey training after school(more physical training)..... omg. Plus he came out of his own accord, his shepherd, or any other higher authority wasn't like there or anything, nor any sheeps.... Admire him man.... In most's hearts, it'll be "im tired, gimme a break"... For him, it'll probably be "God... a second in your courts is better than a year at home sleeping!"

Sat... late.... overslept...meeting(phew, better than expected), pool, IT show.... Yeah, planned chalet and all, its rather messy, im utilizing this slogon "just do it"... Haha!~! hope all goes well....

Sunday, gunna water bap~! then going IT show YEAH! :)

2007-03-08T20:17:00.000+08:00

Haha, just rewatched My Sassy Girl~!

Today rather slack day... whole day at home, read book, just relax and listen to my fav songs, caught up on the latest animes i been missing... yeah, super slack, super wasted.

But im worried for other people now, JAE appeal and stuff. Really. Its like some CMI, nowhere to go, currently just taking whatever's offered to them? Its a diploma please, not A or O lvl where the school doesn't matter as much. I'd rather retake, waste one year, and go for a desired course... then go through 3 years in a course, studying for a diploma, that i dont fancy.

I really dunno.. People seem "calm" but apparently it doesn't seem so, actions show. Advice to any lucky bypasser who's school-less and comes by my blog, slow down, take time to think. Panicking wont work, its your own future your talking about and your asking me, WHY? I tell you, ask me HOW! Its not gunna be yet another pride issue or anything, its the harsh reality... I cant really do anything, perhaps this was their choice since day number one....

MoKky^, will become mokky on 11th march 2007. YWCA Fort Canning Lodge, 3-6~!
cheers~!

2007-03-06T21:38:00.000+08:00

Hohoho.... suppose i'd like to make this snappy once again. Today morning i made my way to accompany Glen to appeal at TP. Gee, the people present are really poorly informed to facilitate the event. Talked lots and stuff yeah... Needn't say much..... yeah... some happy... some sad? But, i think most expected the result and stuff..

On the way to TP the bus ran out of fuel though... haha, first time i encounter... Hopped onto the next bus and i received a ..."complimentary ride ticket"!

I didn't feel a single tremor throughout.... Perhaps im insensitive.

And at TP's open house, i realised that the COP for NP's BFS was... 11... What a drop from 16! Although i know the postings are finalised for me, i still got a li'l shocked haha... What if the COP was 1 lower... What if my R4 was 1 higher? I"ll be stranded nowhere. I literally scrapped into the course by a margin of 1. Edwin Yeo, edwin thia and darren lim coming into the same course/poly as me... hehe, yeah....

Anticipation.... such a simple, yet stirring word!!! i cant wait... i cant wait i cant wait!!!!

Oh yeah... on a side note, i accomplished one of my newyearresolutions! And, im doing point 8 really well so far i think! hehe, for now at least.... maintain..consistency..

2007-03-06T07:33:00.000+08:00

Goodness, i got into my course.... I already anticipated this, my results, COP and stuff, everything tallies... but still, im happy and excited? haha!!! Ngee Ann Poly Banking! here i come haha.... Hopefully term starts asap!

I actually stayed up overnight, and now going breakfast with lin and glen... Then going TP to appeal!

God... im asking for a yes, not a wait, or no.

2007-03-06T01:27:00.000+08:00

hohoho, reached home an hour ago!

Yeah... today had some complications, but then pontanged CTM and cabbed down to bishan. Met Sunny and Pamela~! haha, walked around looking for somebody.... Then took ages to decide where to eat. A trio with no decision maker, totally clueless where to eat, but we eventually settled for TCC(The cafe cartel!) Food was ok, actually was just happy to get outta home... Haha yeah... saw zi jie working there, tried to make trouble a little haha. Lameness to the max~! Then we caught Just Follow Law. AGAIN. Yeah... again.... Sigh, cabbed home again after that~! WOO, JAE posting tmr, i hope i wont be alone in my course man...

Btw people, im getting baptised next week, 11 march, dunno where, dunno what time. But, my name will be MOKKY :)

2007-03-03T23:58:00.000+08:00

Yeah.... yesterday went as planned. Went food hunting with Walmond at chinatown! Darn funny.... he's like... afraid of the raindrops? everytime got a place with no shelter and needa past, he'll like...."shit la...", then chiong past as though its hailstones falling on his head! Settled for kolo mee~! Was nice i'd say, but.... rather far from the MRT station.

Went to nexus after that, did decor untill 11 PM..... Wee, im getting to know more and more people from decor better, like on sat more people will just suddenly say hi mokky! hehe~! Then made my way home with yiyou and dingchuen... argh, supposed to have a lift from puaylin with yiyou but ding chuen assumed me and faith was sitting down just to chitchat at the coffeeshop and sat with us....when....... when we actually were waiting for puay. Puay said her car only enough for 2... cant fit 3..... AH!!!! So the kind us, decided to take mrt instead so he wont have to take the mrt home alone.... sob sob, car ride home gone :(

Today, went to nexus earlier to do some decor touch up, then set up info counter booth, and had info counter outside duty.... Ah, 2 ministry, fun fun~ haha, then ate, then pool, then meeting, then pool..... boring i'd say...

After that went to Chinatown again, with Wal and LJ, ate loads.... Hokkien mee, 2 stingrays, zi char stuff, woah~! Really full, then back home, tada..

Today was a very slack day, not physically, but mentally... Dont ask me why, but its though i've got a mind-block, totally stoning though i might not appear to be haha. Didn't absorb anything during sermon or meeting.... Am i getting phleg? hope not man

2007-03-02T14:08:00.000+08:00

Haha, yesterday cycling trip CANCELLED. Phew... went yishun watch "Pursuit Of Happiness" with stephen and Alvin instead. Haha, fell asleep a little, then went town meet my mother for dinner + buy shoe. Yawn.... didn't get to buy the one i wanted to get few days ago... SOLD OUT! OMG..... Got another pair, nike dunk, li'l regret choosing that sia... ai nvm, buy liao, so its NICE! =x

Yeah... woke up about 30 mins ago, wally asked for movie. Ai, going eat lunch at china town instead haha, then going nexus for decor~! Weee

2007-03-01T03:36:00.000+08:00

Interesting...... God...?

Let me see..... beyond, sight.

Started off very, very, very sick. Oh, thanks for the morning call~ Yes, really sick... words can never tell you how sick i was. But chill' not yet lying on the hospital bed writing my last letter. Supposedly tried sleeping at 4, but couldn't.... slept around 6+. Not really sure, wasn't in a right state of mind. Woke up, still sick, but..... its cg day, dont wanna let sickness control me, the mind, the brain... is a powerful thing. Yes, so yup, suppress it, except headache, cant rlly help it...

Cabbed to rc with Glen to meet Job, get them to do design for cg Tee, knowing they wont do it alone haha. O well, lost my wallet after paying for the cab when going to macs eat..... Initiatly wasn't really bothered, checekd the ground, dun haf, move on... But... but one thing im more concern, or touched, was my sheep's reaction. Normally what would people say? Check your bag, you sure anot, dont joke around, u left it somewhere? Common, words that carry no weight. GLEN told me "Cannot find nvm, you haven eat lunch rite, i pay for you, later then see how." Wa.. its.... actions. My love language is gifts/time/service, instead of words, perhaps cause im more... practical? I feel actions speak louder than words. Its comforting words, followed by actions... So i didn't really bother about my wallet(i haven't thought about the contents/consequences haha) and went to macs to eat, then did the designs and stuff, then went to RC slack, wait for CG....

Before CG, was looking at Nigel, the only Gabrielite left. I saw how he talked to his new-believer. Wow. His conviction, the way he speaks, i see potential. Just a simple thing, just 2 days a week, cg/service. I remember what he said to the newb. "I have never missed a single cg/service sincei came! Still dare say!" Yeah.... Luck that he's availible always? Or rather, he got a right sense of priority. Many a times i know want to do something else.... but there's the RIGHT choice to make, compared to the choice i WANT to make. But more importantly... is the heart with your choice? Else, dont bother attending cg if your heart is perhaps out there, wanting to chill, play dota, wadever... I wont say i always attend cg with a willing heart.... Its more of OUGHT, a duty to fulfil... rather than WANT, a desire to. Future of SGSS, dependant on him! I'll write him a card this week, not really close, but.. o well, i wish to help. I really do....

CG so many screw ups hehe..... led holy com... they stole my lines! They took my blog's cover page concept and used it as an elaboration! So... didn't really have to say much, very foundational, explained the mere basics, move on.... CG was enjoyable i gotta say, despite my sickness, tried to enjoy it. Was really sick throughout the day, just not showing it as much, i could have jolly well fallen asleep during cg, or be sloppy but....

Right before CG start... i received a stranger-call. This man said he found my wallet, woah, coolness to the MAX INDEED.... okay, met him up halfway during cg at interchange, rushed back to cg.. thanked the guy big time. Really a miracle... read on and you'll understand. At first i didn't think much.... Raining, late for cg, super sick. Then, i started thinking.. eh?! How did he get my number? God gave him? Nope..... theres this y-hope invitational card, the black/gold one.... i wrote lots, with my name/contact... Thats how he managed to contact me. God really blesses man.... Lets think back if you say the.."contact-drive" was fruitless.. If i didn't contact drive, i wouldn't have put those cards in my wallet, the man wouldn't have called me, he might not have bothered to go to the police station to drop it off. Yeah.... God is so real. When i focus on more important things, God returns.... After losing my wallet, i was thinking about holy com role... thanking my sheepie glen in my heart, doing shirt designs, anything but thinking about my wallet.

And.. i realised i would be in DEEP trouble if that wallet fall into wrong hands... Probably a possible lost of around 4000 bucks wouldn't be that hard to hit. And add a hella lot of trouble travelling to and fro, applying, queuing, reporting and all. Lets check out the content! Openness, though i dont like people touching my wallet haha.... I've.... a IC, pain in the ass to replace, and ex i think?... adult EZ link... 2 atm cards that'll be a hassle to replace.... my debit card that can sign up to around 500?... my MUM(she'll kill me..)'s credit card with limit about 3000? Goodness..... thinking back, the man must be really, really, kind! What are the chances. Add on my tapz that i just top up, G2k cash card, cashcard, shentonway card, hope member card, zion member card, pool card, acurvue card, sailing card.... OH my...... dear, scary isn't it, replacing/paying for all these..... Ah, yeah, and dont bother trying to steal my wallet :) Its now under higher scruntiny after a bad experience! Lolx j/king...

After cg, "ate" at some coffeeshop, walked lots, like a dead zombie, then go home, then play a little, eat, then now. Yeah, supposed to sleep 2 hours ago, going pula ubin AGAIN tmr... I already have a scar from the last trip..... God, cover me with your protection once again!

Cheers,
MoKky^...... on he verge.... of exhaustion.

2007-02-27T23:32:00.000+08:00

Wow, im blogging about "today", today! Haha, rarely get the opportunity to!
Been an interesting day i gotta say? Woke up and meet my mum at her office have lunch tgt.

Then, i planned to meet up with andrew, and two of his friends... All 3 i only know from msn? Never met them before, just chat on msn and decided to meet up haha!
A brief description of what i can gather, from our first outing....Andrew, 16 this year, taking O's privately at Park Mall haha... From indonesia, SPEAKS!!! MANY LANGUAGES! Malayu, english, chinese, japanese, mandarian, fu jian hua? Ownage! Then the 2 other, both from china, 18 this year.... studying same school as Andrew. Haha, one of them... wow-ed me. Natural-pro-pool player. He said he very long nv play(months?) and when he play.... wapiang, even though i won the match, he's a pro, just some practise and he can be super pro lar. Can use both hands, both hands can do spider, placing super.....just-shoot-no-need think, but he always gets good angles... a nat! Haha, 3 strangers i got to know today, friendly and sociable, despite langauge barrier(I actually spoke chinese to them throughout...) Like many of the other friends i know through the internet and eventually become real-life friends, hope to know them better! Conversations with them little, different from normal though. They said 4 key things in life, #1, Car, #2, Lust ,#3, Career, #4, Sex. Haha...... then they started rattling on about them! Said their bored and wanted to get girlfriend, ask me intro and stuff haha.... Im like.... im not close with Singaporean girls that are.... so "open"? They even asked me whether majority of the girls around my age are still virgins or not... Im like, how am i supposed to know LOL you never know actually.... :p

Oh ya and we hit on the topic about, night life in singapore, dam sad lor.... They ask me, what do majority of the singaporeans around my age do during the night, after 12 liddat. I couldn't answer. Yeah, i couldn't answer, how sad. Clubs? That's a minority. Pool/bowling/lan? They past that stage in life haha... How sad... singapore's night life, and perhaps, the nightlife of the ppl

Remembered in sec 4 one of my ace-essays. How i argued for the opening of casinos in Singapore. Casino = 24 hour. = require 24 hour infrastructure to compliment = a beginning in Singapore's nightlife. Eateries, entertainment, hospitality, all will become 24 hour around the casino, yayness :) Ppl say SG a bustling city, orchard road the in place to be, very crowded and stuff..... But once the clock hits 12, that road's a dead street man.... Cannot compare to other places.

O well, watched Just Follow Law with Shaun Stephen and Rui Hao. haha, not a bad show i gotta say, very.... real for locals. Easy to relate and stuff... Haha... veh lame, Fan wong's acting.... LOL, cant imagine myself(putting myself in a girl's shoe?) acting like that, touch ownself etc =x Yikes! So thats the professionalism their talking about? Hehe, gotta be literally Rolling On Floor Laughing during the shooting process man....

2007-02-26T02:54:00.000+08:00

Ah... some random things!

Counted my red packets... 19 packets in total, total of $304... hehe yeah.... But through the CNY season, i took cabs.... MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY cabs... haha, easily 100+ on cab alone... But....but at least i didn't lose in gambling this year, even out i guess.. So, im going to spend, all my packets, on... lemme see, i dont know. I'll just put it in my wallet, and after 2-3 weeks, it'll naturally vanish :) Magical! How wonderful! Ok whatever, i cant save, and thats final.... So ask me to treat u more often these 2 weeks so at least the money wont be wasted.... Or perhaps i'll find one last poker session to throw all my money in and leave? HAHA

Oh, and i was watching deathnote anime just now.... and this popped up.
"Even if you eat sweets, if you use your head, you wont get fat." - L
Haha... hahahahaah
Ok whatevr, i find that funny, yet true...

Ah.... gotta go watch finish some animes and go sleep! haha, tmr going to be a long day again, as it always been...

Things seem weird always, doesn't seem to go exactly as plan, but.. I LIKE

When in school, i thought.... ah, long holiday coming, can slack like mad
Then i had work...
When at work, i thought...... ah, quitting soon, yay then can slack!
Then i had no committments
Im even busier... i sleep even lesser FAR LESSER.... i get tired more often, doing SO MANY THINGS... But, i love this life, meaningful, a free life i gotta say..

2007-02-25T21:05:00.000+08:00

Friday....friday...friday....Freaky friday! I had to go church office at Joo Chiat(with Tan) to help gigi print some teaching notes. Was supposedly late due to some... miscommunication. But owell, no harm done, made our way there, and i ate chicken pie on the way. nice man...~! Printed the stuff, yeah, pretty irritating. That printer, needed a password, and we dont know it. So we had to ask ps shirley/jasmine to press the pw for us like, 10+ times? Haha, afterall we dont hold a degree in printer operations.

Oh yeah... and something random, i saw my name, Gary, in Shirls desktop, in the recycle bin =X Ahh, was it me? no idea, but we got curious and we opened it! Oops, invasion of privacy! repent repent.... but o well, at least it put my mind to ease...It WAS me, but its about last year's camp hah.... I had decor after that whereas Tan wanted to pontang PM so we cabbed to nexus together. Ate Carls Jr before that. Decor, as usual, quite few people came.... so no tua huay :( something lame happen.... When wam was practising, i was up at the... left banner, and i was lazy to climb down the ladder so i just, jumped? HAha, yeah yeah, about 1 storey high but heck, but i forgot it was a STAGE, meaning its hollow below, so i caused a loud sound and the band was like, look at me, are you ok? Sprained ur ankle? need the medic? So-and-so's from blah blah blah~! So paiseh, just scurried off to recept ! Haha~ Played pool with DC and huaxiang after, then made for home..

Saturday, service, after that couldn't go mtg, had visiting, then stayed over stephen house, planned cg, was cool, had worship, won 2 rounds of blackjack straight, messed up stephen's life(oops, wrong meaning).... Rather interesting, my entry into the game, just 2 rounds, caused the banker to lose close to 200... Its not the year of the horse that caused the difference i gotta say, its the NAME of the player, and the name is MoKky^! ah, so lame.... But was fun nevertheless, playing with strangers.. not my type. Slept for awhile, reached home at 4+ on sunday evening.. Slacked untill now, did some housework, tidy up my computer files...

Oh yeah, and i was actually invited to Jasper house to play cards overnight again, was rather willing to go but i promised the coreteam to go stayover stephen house... So i did the RIGHT thing this time, not that i hardly do it =X. One word... HENG ARH! All i know was wally and lee lost about 400+ in total.

And, thank god for leaders, they've been a blessing :) Their silent support, actions behind the scenes etc, wewt~ Wouldn't know what to do without them. Realise i've been having to make decisions lately, decisions that dictate the future, dictate lives.... But, but...i love it. Decision making, my forte i gotta say.... Thats why i made a big decision about 7 years ago, and that decision, still stands. The decision, of a lifetime.... But, i detest people who make decisions by themselves, out of their own freewill, and later contradict themselves with actions/speech which defer. I. Dont. Eat. Such. Bullshit. Nope, never will , never gunna :)

Cheers,
MoKky^